We're Still Standing
by slave4kai
Summary: They argue and fight, but still the little Hikari loves Bakura, and Bakura loves him right back. Yet both have no clue on the others feelings, leaving them in doubt, depression and confusion as well as suicidal...
1. Choices

**Hmm... Here with a new YuGiOh fic my happy-chans... Hope you enjoy it for I tried a new approach with this one... So yeah, enjoy!**

**And without further ado...**

* * *

**WE'RE STILL STANDING**

**chapter 1: Choices**

The cotton haired hikari sat silently on the edge of the couch in the lifeless living room of his and Bakura's house. He sat alone like he always did on a Friday night; his routine was the same every week. Bakura went out at around eight with Malik and came back around three or four in the morning, and every time Ryou stayed up even though his darker half had told him hundreds of times not to wait up, he still did. Something inside of him made him stay up, he didn't care about the regular arguments they had about it he had to stay and wait for his Yami, he needed to make sure he came home all right. Ryou did this for the fact that the one night he didn't wait up for Bakura was the one night his dark came home completely drunk. Being the heavy sleeper he is, Ryou didn't hear Bakura come home nor did he hear his spirit trip in the dark hallway and hit his head off of the wall thus rendering him unconscious and leaving him with a quite serious head wound. Ever since that Ryou had sworn never to go to sleep without making sure Bakura was ok, even though his Yami promised him he wouldn't come home drunk. He had kept this promise, but Ryou still and always would worry about his Yami, even if his Yami didn't worry about him.  
  
Chocolate eyes glanced over at the small clock that perched on the television.  
  
"3:30..." Ryou whispered to himself as he began to twist his thumbs round and round one another.  
  
His eyelids began to get heavy as he sat doing nothing, and he desperately wanted to go to sleep as he hadn't been sleeping that well the past few weeks, but he wasn't going to take the risk of something happening to his Yami again.  
  
For a while now, the hikari and spirit had been arguing a lot more than they usually did. Like all people who live together, little habits can get annoying and cause scraps, but never anything too big. But lately, the two had been finding more and more to fight about. Even the slightest thing that Bakura noticed different about Ryou was questioned and every time it ended up in a heated fight, and always leading to neither of them talking to the other and one always sleeping on the couch or not at all.  
  
Ryou sighed to himself as he buried his head in his hands. He hated fighting with his other half; he always had done and always would. The insults and hurtful things they threw at each other were getting worse by the day, both of them digging a little deeper to hurt their other more each time.  
  
The white haired hikari bit his lip lightly as he thought about their last fight. It happened the night before this one, and it was by far their worst that week. Ryou was feeling very depressed about the same thing he always was, and decided to stay out of his Yami's way seen as he looked as if he was in a good mood. The hikari had locked himself away in his old room and began to play his music quite loud. To Ryou, music was a way of leaving everything behind. He could pick a song to suit his mood and the way he was feeling, and then play it. Simply letting the words roll through his thoughts always made him feel a million times better. Ryou was doing just this that night, but failed to realise just how loud he was playing his music and also failed to hear his Yami asking him to turn it down.  
  
After calling his light's name countless times, Bakura was getting annoyed. Sighing to himself the dark reluctantly rolled off of the couch and began to make his way upstairs to Ryou. The dark was planning on yelling at his other half to turn it down and to make sure it didn't happen again, but something stopped him. Something made him stop dead in his tracks and actually listen to what Ryou was listening to. The slow yet heavy beat echoed through out the house, wrapping its emotion around both the white haired teens. Bakura's eyes saddened slightly when he listened to the words of the song, his expression changing when he realised just how depressing the song actually was. More sorrow coming over him when he thought that his hikari was feeling like this. Why hadn't Ryou told him? Why hadn't Bakura noticed the sadness of his other half, but then he remembered Ryou had been locked in his room for hours on end.  
  
Sighing once again Bakura regained his usual 'I don't care for anything but myself' attitude and look before he stepped inside Ryou's room to find his light sitting in the window ledge, tears rolling down his pale cheeks.  
  
The dark looked at Ryou for a second or two, and remained unnoticed as he walked over to the CD Player and clicked the power button, cutting off the sound, the emotion and his lights oblivious thoughts.  
  
Ryou jumped slightly when he realised Bakura was in the room, and instantly started to rub his eyes in an attempt to hide the streaming tears.  
  
"Ryou? What's wrong with you, I've been calling you for ages," Bakura said calmly but sternly, his arms lightly crossed over his toned chest.  
  
"I'm sorry Bakura, I didn't realise it was so loud," Ryou said in a soft voice, looking down to hide his face.  
  
It started calm, but it still made Ryou cringe when he thought about what it ended up in. He refused to tell Bakura why he was so sad, and was still refusing to do so. Bakura had hit Ryou countless times before and the hikari was quite used to it by now. His beatings were slowly starting to get less and less but that night started it all over again. The calm questioning finished in a heated fight, both of the brown-eyed teen's enraged at the other. Shouting and screaming filled the house till the early hours of the morning, that was until Bakura's last drop of self control and patience finally hit the floor, thus leading to the dark cornering the petrified light and whipping him over and over again with his belt.  
  
But what confused Ryou the most was how Bakura was after these arguments. He acted as if nothing had even happened, he could even be sweeter after a fight, hugging his hikari now and then. And a few times the dark had even slept with his other half before he held his light close like they were lovers. But Ryou knew that would never happen, even though he dreamed that one day it would, a bitter thought constantly told him it wouldn't. To Bakura, it was just the pleasure he was looking for, not Ryou.  
  
Ryou sighed heavily as he bit his lip from the thoughts, holding back tears that fought to fall. He sat back slightly, hugging himself for the comfort he yearned so much but never once received.  
  
A sudden bang of the front door snapped Ryou back to reality, as Bakura's presence was made clear as he kicked his shoes off before entering the living room.  
  
"Your awake?" Bakura stated as he fell back down on the chair opposite his light.  
  
"Aren't I always?" Ryou replied with a tiny trace of sarcasm in his voice causing his other halves eyes to narrow slightly.  
  
"Whatever Ryou… Pass me the remote," the Yami ordered, holding out his hand.  
  
"But it's right in front of you," Ryou protested nodding to the remote that was within both of their reaches.  
  
"Tch, I only asked if you could get it for me, isn't that hard Ryou. What else do you do for me?" Bakura said in a cruel but casual tone as he leaned forward about to take the control but his light knocked it from his reach.  
  
"Ryou!" Bakura snapped.  
  
"How can you say that?!" Ryou demanded, hitting his fists down to his sides on the couch.  
  
"Geez Ryou, say what?" Bakura asked, finding his light's sudden mood swing rather amusing.  
  
"Say I don't do anything else for you!"  
  
"And? You don't..." Bakura replied shrugging, keeping his cool and not taking his hikari's yelling to heart.  
  
"Yes I do!" Ryou screamed at his dark, a new spark of anger racing through his veins as he snatched the remote and threw it at the wall with a loud smash.  
  
"Ryou! What the hell is wrong with you?!" Bakura yelled back, his temper finally beginning to fade.  
  
"How Bakura? How can you say I don't do anything for you?! Everything I do has something to do with you! I take all your punishments, your moods, your temper, your bad attitude and your beatings without question and without fighting back! Isn't that enough?!" Ryou shouted back.  
  
Ryou clenched his fists to try and control his anger that continued to bubble and rise to his maximum. He averted his chocolate eyes from Bakura's dark depths and fixed his stare to the floor in an attempt to gain some self control but it didn't work what so ever as he continued to feel the rage build inside of him.  
  
"I've had it with you! First off you can be so caring and kind, close enough to love, making me think you actually LIKE me! For god's sake you take me to bed! But then you go and beat me up because something's pissing you off and I'm the person that's always here so you decide to take it out on me, making me then think you HATE me! You just like playing games with my head! Something's dragging you down; I know it and your getting worse! Why won't you tell me?!" Ryou shouted at the top of his lungs to his Yami.  
  
"What the hell is your problem?! Where did that shit come from?!" Bakura demanded in a stern, strong yell.  
  
Ryou had finally found some calmness inside of him and brought his level of voice back down to its usual, tranquil state. His lashes rose up so his eyes fixed on his darker half.  
  
"I'm not the one with the problem, it's you. Why won't you ever let anyone get close to you? You refuse to talk to me and if we do it's always fighting. Why can't you just tell me what's wrong instead of trying to solve it by running off with Malik every Friday?" Ryou asked with tears in his eyes.  
  
Bakura growled as he got to his feet his eyes locked onto his hikari. He walked over to Ryou and grasped his chin in his hands, forcing their eyes to meet, darkness merging with light.  
  
"I'll sort out my problems how I like Ryou. Deal with it baka. If you don't like it then tough, it's who I am and I'm not changing for some pathetic hikari. I don't fuck with your personal life so don't even try it with mine," and with that said, Bakura pushed Ryou back from him and stormed off upstairs to his room, the door slamming with great force.  
  
Ryou suddenly felt enraged again and he grabbed the nearest pillow, put his face to it and screamed his very loudest. It did erase some of his anger but there was still plenty left. The hikari threw the pillow to the side and grabbed the small vase on the coffee table. He was planning to throw it at the wall but he grasped it with such force, it shattered in his hands.  
  
"Ahh!" Ryou screamed out from the sudden pain and he instantly pulled his hand close to his chest, watching the blood trickle down his palm from the glass that had imbedded itself into his soft skin. The light then absentmindedly squeezed his hand, causing more crimson liquid to flow from the cuts.

* * *

Upstairs Bakura was pacing back and forth in his room, his fists clenched in anger. Where had all that emotion come from in Ryou? And why didn't he see it coming? Growling with frustration the Yami ceased his pacing and sat down on the bed. He sighed heavily as he put his head in his hands. Ryou had known all along that there was something bothering him, and all he wanted was for his Yami to tell him. But he couldn't. No way in Ra's name could Bakura even mention a slight hint that he was beginning to fall head over heels for his hikari. Besides, he couldn't even if he wanted to. Loving your hikari was wrong in his mind; it always had been ever since Yugi and Yami had gotten together as lovers. Wrong. Plain wrong to Bakura, but then again when he saw the Pharaoh with his light he saw the up most happiness in both their eyes, and in the way they acted. Both of them always had a smile on their faces no matter what happened, so maybe it wasn't as bad as he thought. No. What was he thinking? The dark sighed with aggravation as he gripped the bed sheets at his side.  
  
"Ryou..." Bakura whispered to himself just as said hikari came into his room, tears rolling down his cheeks as blood dripped from his hand, "...Ryou?!"  
  
"K...Kura..." Ryou stuttered as he held out his hand.  
  
"For Ra's sake Ryou what did you do?!" Bakura asked in a slightly raised and bitter voice.  
  
Ryou didn't answer as his dark took his wrist and pulled him to the bathroom next door to their bedroom and led him inside. Bakura sat his light down on the edge of the bathtub and started to rummage through the small cabinet above the sink looking for a first aid kit, eventually finding it. He then filled the sink with cold water and dampened a cloth.  
  
"Hold you hand out," Bakura ordered in a sigh and Ryou did as told.  
  
The cotton haired Yami then started to very carefully pick out the small shards of glass in his light's hand, after each one, gently dabbing it with the wet cloth. Ryou hissed in pain as each piece was pulled from his skin, and he bit back more tears.  
  
"Sorry, just relax... What did you do anyway?" Bakura asked once he had made sure all the glass was out and the wounds were clean before he started to wrap his hand in bandage.  
  
"I... I grabbed the vase to hard..." Ryou muttered.  
  
"And why was you grabbing the vase in the first place?" the spirit asked as his eyes trailed up to meet Ryou's.  
  
"... To throw it..."  
  
Bakura chuckled with amusement.  
  
"It isn't funny it hurt!" Ryou blurted out and Bakura just shook his head.  
  
"No, it isn't funny that you hurt yourself. But you and your mood swings are very funny," he snickered as he finished with Ryou's hand.  
  
"Tch. Whatever Yami..." Ryou muttered taking back his hand, "... Thanks..."  
  
"Whatever," Bakura replied as he put the kit back into the cabinet, "Now... Get to bed."  
  
Ryou frowned but wasn't in the mood to start another argument. "Fine..." he mumbled in defeat as he stood up and made his way to the bedroom.  
  
Bakura sighed when Ryou left the room and he leaned over the sink with his head low in thought.  
  
"What am I doing..." the darker self muttered quietly as he stared into the water that was now tainted with his light's blood, staining it in a ruby red.

* * *

Ryou slowly lay down on his side of the bed, curling up into a tight ball as he thought about what had just happened, but soon realised his thoughts were nothing but confused. Once again his Yami had been so cruel, calling him a pathetic hikari and pushing him away. But just then, he had treated him with such grace and was being so gentle with him as if he cared about his lighter half. But did he? Ryou growled with puzzlement as he rolled over in the bed, burying his face into the pillow and putting his hands on top of his head. Why did his Yami play games with his emotions? When Ryou thinks his Yami actually cares for him the smile that graces his lips is much more than angelic, it's perfect. But then his feelings are thrown right back at him with a violent slap of reality. Maybe Bakura enjoyed seeing this cycle of emotions? Ryou's happy, it backfires, Ryou's depressed... To be honest with himself, the hikari wouldn't at all be surprised if all this were true. But. What about all those times when Bakura had been nice and didn't throw it back in his face? The times such as when the darker half just casually walked up to his light and pulled him into such a loving embrace, and then just as casually as he came, he went back to his usual things. What about times like that? So maybe, just maybe there was still hope. But only maybe.

* * *

Back in the bathroom, Bakura was still leaning forward over the sink deep in thoughts. Mentally arguing with himself on what he should do about the way he was feeling. To him, he had only two options. One, totally ignore the desiring feelings in his heart and get on with his life like nothing was different and try and show Ryou that whatever his problem was had been solved. Or two, follow his heart and admit how he really felt about his hikari. But then it struck him, those two options both led into a million and one questions that would only ever be answered if he decided to go with that choice. For example, if he picked the first one Bakura would never know if it could have worked out between him and his beautiful light. And what if Ryou didn't believe that his problem was solved and they continued to fight, each time getting worse. No. Bakura couldn't let that happen. The dark's thoughts then trailed to his other option, tell Ryou. Rejection. What if that happened? What if Ryou didn't feel the same way, and he got shot down by the one person he truly does trust. He could lose his hikari forever. No. Bakura couldn't let that happen either.  
  
"Argh!" Bakura slammed his fists down on the sink from frustration.  
  
What was he going to do? His heart longed for Ryou to be his own, more than just a friend, more than just a hikari. He wanted him to love, and for Ryou to love him back. That would never happen.  
  
"Would it though?" Bakura asked himself in a whisper.  
  
All those times he had hugged his light he never once pulled back. Every time Ryou accepted each embrace with open arms as if he had wanted it. Surely, his light didn't feel the same way he did. Would he? The countless times Bakura had beaten, abused, cursed, and insulted and many more things, must have driven him far, far from his reach.  
  
Then it finally clicked in Bakura's head and his third choice came to mind, a choice he could easily do and cope with. Stay quiet for now, but keep that flicker of hope burning deep within his soul.

* * *

**Rather long ne.... Heheh, anyway hoped you liked it and the 2nd chapter should be up soon!**

**R&R  
  
S4K**


	2. Spite

**Heya, here with chapter number 2 And once again... It's long heheh. **

**Hope you like happy-chans!**

* * *

**Spite**

The early morning sun broke through the crack in the curtains, instantly hitting Bakura's face. The sudden light to his eyes caused the Yami to groan in discomfort for being woken up as he went to pull the covers over him, but they didn't budge. He sighed and opened his eyes fully to see Ryou curled up in a tight ball against his chest, tangled in the sheets. Bakura smiled at the sight of his lighter half sleeping so peacefully. He brushed a stray piece of hair from across Ryou's face as he stared at his beautiful face, watching his eyes flutter lightly in his sleep, which caused Bakura to smile.

Ryou moaned slightly in his sleep as he tried to turn over, but the sheets wrapped around him stopped him from going anywhere. His expression changed into a slight cringe as his pale cheeks began to turn a pale pink.

Bakura sat up when he noticed the distressed look on his lighter half's face, and he watched him with worried eyes.

"Ryou..." the Yami whispered while lightly shaking his arm.

No response.

"Ryou..." he whispered again.

"No... Kura... Please... No..." Ryou mumbled, his voice barely loud enough to hear, but Bakura caught the words and that was all he needed to hear to know what his light was dreaming of.

"Ryou wake up," Bakura said in a sterner tone, shaking his arm harder.

The cotton haired hikari moaned again, a cold sweat starting to form on his forehead, his breathing intensifying.

"Ryou!" Bakura yelled.

"Bakura!" Ryou screamed as he shot up right, breathing heavily as he gripped the sheets at his side.

Bakura stared at his other half with worried, wide eyes, swallowing hard at the fact he was having nightmares because of him.

"Ryou..." Bakura whispered as he reached out to his light, but the teen swatted his hand away as he tried to catch his breath.

"D-don't, touch me..." Ryou muttered, his eyes wide with pure terror as he still struggled for air.

"Ryou it was only a nightmare," Bakura protested, quite annoyed that his other half was taking it to heart.

The light sighed heavily, "Can you... Forget it... I'm going to take a bath..." Ryou muttered softly as he rolled out of bed, kicking the covers off of him.

"Yeah ok," Bakura said sighing as he lay back down, staring up at the ceiling with his hands behind his

* * *

Ryou sat on the edge of the bathtub as he watched the water slowly get higher and higher, swirling his hand in its hot depths. He sighed to himself as he let his thoughts wander to wherever they felt like going, but each time they led back to the nightmare.

The water finally reached its goal and the hikari turned the taps off before he stripped himself of his clothes and slowly stepped in. The sudden warmth caused goose bumps to form on the youth's body as it soaked his skin in heat and tenderness, drenching his worries, dragging them down. Ryou sighed at the feeling as a small smile graced his pale lips. His mind cleared, leaving him in his own world of pure bliss. The teen continued to sink into the clear profundity until it covered his face completely, sending a new, hot sensation through him, which caused him to instantly sit up again. He gasped when he felt the coldness of the air wrap around his torso and face, feeling the warm liquid drip from his hair and roll down his face. Ryou blinked a few times to rid the droplets from his eyelashes as he leaned back against the tub side. In hailing deeply as he lightly shut his chocolate depths, the thoughts about his nightmare returned, much to his annoyance.

**DREAM FLASHBACK**

The darkness of the hallway instantly engulfed Ryou as he stepped into his home. The hikari stayed as silent as he could as he set down his rucksack, his eyes trying desperately to focus in the black abyss of his house.

A small yelp suddenly escaped him when he felt the air behind him shift and the front door slam shut, making the darkness be sucked into more shadows. Ryou's body began to tremble from pure fear as he took slow steps down the hallway, dragging his hands along the walls as he went. 

Out of the blue a cruel laugh echoed through out the house and stung him deep within as he recognised the sound.

"Ba...Kura..." Ryou mumbled in a shaking whisper.

The lights only response was the sadistic laughter suddenly stopping and a dead silence drenched the air around him. Not the sort of silence that was a comfort, not the sort that was filled with contentment or peace. This silence was lifeless. The sort that didn't even let in the whisper of a breath seep into its depths, it nipped at anyone that was in it, swallowing their whole body and mind in paranoia. Pure panic began to linger over Ryou as he walked through the doorway into the living room.

"Bakura... This isn't funny you know," Ryou whispered as he was fully in the room.

"Oh but it is little one..." a voice hissed bitterly from behind of him as the living room door slammed shut, revealing Bakura standing against the wall with a psychotic grin plastered across his face.

Ryou's mouth fell open in shock when he saw his Yami's eyes narrow and lock onto him. "Bakura... Wh... What..."

"You made me wait Ryou," Bakura interrupted, "You said you'd be home at four, and now..." he lowered his head slightly so to look at Ryou from the top of his eyes, looking even more sinister, "... It's six thirty." 

"I-I'm sorry... I lost track of t-time," the hikari stuttered, his voice showing the fear that dripped from him.

Bakura looked down at the floor as he took a few steps forward, his thumbs hooked into the belt hoops of his jeans as he did so.

"Bakura I'm sorry..." 

The spirit suddenly stopped in his tracks, a couple of feet from his other half, as his head remained low.

"Kura... I..."

A sudden snicker that escaped Bakura, quickly changing into a callous cackle, silenced Ryou's words.

"Your too easy my beloved hikari," Bakura whispered.

"What do... You m-mean?" the lighter half asked, still shaking with horror.

The Yami sighed heavily as he lifted his head, his dark depths merging with the chocolate orbs of his other. A devilish smirk crept across his expression before he suddenly lunged forward and violently grabbed Ryou, spinning him round in his hold and pinning the youth's arms behind his back.

Ryou whimpered in pain as his arms were dragged further behind his back, "Bakura... Stop that hurts..." he pleaded.

"You don't say?" Bakura replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

The deranged spirit then span round with Ryou in his grasp, pinning him against the wall and pressing his knee into his lower back.

"Ah!" Ryou moaned in pain as he felt his other half dig his nails into the side of his neck, "Bakura! Please!"

Bakura laughed with satisfaction as he dug his claw like nails in deeper, finally penetrating his light's soft skin with a scream of pain.

"Awww, did that hurt little hikari?" Bakura asked, still laughing with amusement.

Ryou hissed in pain as he fought back the tears that threatened to fall in a fear that showing any signs of pain would bring more.

**DREAM FLASHBACK FINISH**

Ryou snapped out of these thoughts, sighing in frustration when he realised how long he had been lying there, and now the water was cooling. He ran his hands back through his hair as he stared at the wall in front of him.

After about five minutes of just staring and not moving, Ryou washed himself and his hair before slowly climbing out of the bath, wrapping a baby blue towel around his waist, leaving his soaked hair to fall over his shoulders.

* * *

Downstairs, Bakura was currently lazing about on the couch, his feet resting on the arm of the couch as he stared up at the ceiling. The spirit lay in light blue jeans with a black t-shirt, his hair falling freely over his eyes as general thoughts went through his mind. _I need to know what scared Ryou so much... It was obvious I was in his dream, and that I was hurting him... _Bakura thought to himself, had he made such an impression on Ryou that his malicious side haunted the young light's dreams? Even the slightest thought about such a thing sent a rampage of guilt over the Yami and he sat up straight, sighing heavily in stress. What was he going to do? Ryou hadn't had a nightmare about him in months, not since they were first introduced and Bakura only used Ryou for his own pleasure and gain. Was it getting worse? _Maybe the other night when I... That could've brought it on..._ he thought silently as he got to his feet. _Tch. I need to talk to Malik... _he mumbled to himself as he headed over to the closet under the stairs and pulled out his jacket before going to the bottom of the stairs.

"Ryou!" Bakura called upstairs.

"What?" a faint voice replied.

"I'm going out, I'll b-"

"Yeah whatever," Ryou interrupted bitterly as he went back to getting dressed.

Bakura frowned lightly, "Tch. Mood swings," he muttered as he stepped out into the autumn morning, hooking his thumbs in the belt hoops of his jeans as he walked along the street to Malik's house.

* * *

When he heard the front door shut, Ryou scrambled over the bed to the window where his eyes trailed down to the street, instantly locking onto Bakura walking in the direction of Malik's house.

_Fine. If he's going to be like this... _It was that moment that Ryou decided if his darker half was going to act like everything was ok, then he'd do the same, even if it is just in spite.

* * *

Bakura walked casually down the sidewalk, his head slightly lowered in thought as he went. Still trying to think what was bothering his hikari.

_He flips at me for having problems and he's the one having a mood swing every minute. First he's my normal, happy hikari, then he goes and screams at me about me solving things with Malik. Tch, stupid hikari he's the one with the bigger problem._

But what troubled the dark the most was the question of what was bothering Ryou so much that made him like this? He remembered the other day where he found his lighter half sitting in his old room with the music on and crying his eyes out. Bakura was yet to know why he was doing it, but maybe that was the reason the way he was acting the way he is. The Yami growled with frustration as he turned the corner to Malik's street, the autumn wind blowing through his platinum locks as he went.

On arriving at Malik's house, Bakura's eyes narrowed slightly to see the Egyptian outside his home, currently standing on a small stool while washing the roof of his car. The teen wiped his forehead with his arm while clutching a soaked, soapy sponge in his hand as his lavender orbs casually rose up and noticed Bakura walking towards his house.

"Kura!" Malik chirped, waving his hand and spraying water everywhere as he did so.

Bakura smiled in reply, rolling his eyes slightly as he wondered how the Egyptian could be so hyper all the time.

"Hey Malik," Bakura said as he came up said other's driveway, unhooking his thumbs from the belt hoops of his jeans.

"How you been? Thought I wouldn't see you until Friday," the tanned light said as he continued to scrub the roof of his car.

"Meh... Not so good," the spirit replied, leaning against the car, only to receive a slap on the arm with a drenched sponge. "Malik!"

"What? I've just cleaned that, I don't want a dirty tomb robber on it," Malik teased with a mischievous smirk.

Bakura grinned it was just like Malik to make a remark like that, especially when his friend was feeling down.

"Whatever," Bakura replied pouting slightly as he took off his jacket and put it on the small garden fence to dry.

"So come on then, what's up?" Malik asked, looking over at the spirit.

"Ryou." 

Malik sighed and leaned over, taking another sponge from the bucket and throwing it at Bakura, who caught it, and got a face-full of water, much to his annoyance. "Well you'll be here for a while so make yourself useful, there's a stool over there."

"I don't need one short-arse," Bakura teased causing Malik to pout.

"Whatever Kura... Just tell me already," the Egyptian ordered, cocking his head slightly.

Bakura sighed and started to wash the roof of the car, going round in circles on the same spot as he began to talk.

"When I got home from being out with you, I had a fight with Ryou," Bakura stated.

"And? You've coped fine with those before haven't you? What made this worse?" Malik asked.

"The things he said."

"What did he say?" 

The white-haired spirit sighed again, "I said he doesn't do anything for me and his reply was, 'I take all your punishments, your moods, your temper, your bad attitude and your beatings without question and without fighting back, isn't that enough?' Then he said, 'you just like playing games with my head. Something's dragging you down; I know it and your getting worse. Why won't you tell me?" Bakura explained word for word, remembering the night all to well.

Malik blinked a few times, "That's very... Profound... What brought all that out?"

"I duno, he just snapped," the Yami replied shrugging his shoulders as he squelched the sponge on the roof as if he was bored, his eyes falling low.

"Well... What's dragging you down then?" Malik asked.

"You don't want to know." 

"If I didn't then I wouldn't ask Bakura. Now tell me, it's better than keeping it all inside."

Bakura looked at Malik. Even though the Egyptian was mostly overly hyper about everything and could be annoying as hell, he was a great listener and good at giving advice, much to Bakura's surprise.

"Fine then..." Bakura mumbled.

"Sooooo?" Malik asked, extending his words as his eyes locked onto the spirit before him.

"I... I like Ryou."

"And? He's cute..."

"I mean as in... Like, like him," the Yami said, making no sense, but Malik caught on. 

"Awww! That's cute!" Malik cooed.

"Malik! It's not cute it's wrong!" Bakura protested with a frown, which caused one to appear on Malik's face. 

"Why the fuck is it wrong Bakura?" the Egyptian asked in a very serious voice.

"Because he's my hikari," Bakura explained, sighing deeply. "So? That's even better, your closer to him," Malik said. 

"No... It's not better... You wouldn't understand..." the brown-eyed spirit trailed off.

"Try me," Malik said, getting down from the stool and walking over to Bakura, folding his arms.

Bakura sighed; he knew Malik wouldn't give up until he told him. "Tch fine... It's worse because... If he, found out I liked him and he didn't return the feelings then I could lose him in more ways than one. If he was just some guy I'd risk it... But it's Ryou..."

Malik looked at Bakura with soft eyes, amazed, but very grateful he trusted the teen with such feelings and secrets.

"But what if he does return them Kura? You can't just hide your feelings forever, for starters Ryou knows there's something bothering you, and it's obviously affecting him from what you've told me. What if he does and your making it worse for him because he thinks you don't like him because your not telling him... But you really do... If that was me in Ryou's shoes... It'd hurt more to know someone cared for me and not know it," Malik said in a soft tone.

Bakura's eyes widened slightly before lowering. Malik was right. If Ryou did return his love, imagine what he would think if he thought Bakura didn't like him, or even hate him. No. Bakura couldn't let his other half hate him, he'd lose him for sure then, and he had to tell him. But then, that left him with the thought of rejection.

He sighed heavily at the thought.

"Now what?" Malik asked as if reading the Yami's thoughts.

"If I told him... He could... Turn me down, and then end up hating me for thinking of him in that way," Bakura mumbled like he was just thinking out loud.

"Kura... That's a risk you'll have to take sooner or later. Not everything's picture perfect all the time," Malik said softly, "Besides, what happened to the Bakura that feared nothing? Scared of not getting what you want are we?" he added trying to lighten the mood, which seemed to work from the soft smile that graced Bakura's lips.

"Piss off," was all that Bakura said, causing Malik to laugh slightly.

"I'll just take that as a yes then," the Egyptian said with a smirk.

"Whatever short-arse."

"Is that a new nickname for me or something?" Malik asked pouting.

"Yes it is. Anyway, I've got to go... Been here long enough," the spirit stated as he threw the sponge back at Malik who ducked in time.

"Yeah ok. See you Friday if not sooner," Malik said with a smile.

"Most likely sooner with all this going on," Bakura said as he turned to walk down the driveway.

"Kura one more thing," Malik called after the other, who turned and slowly walked backwards.

"What?" 

"Do you love him?" Malik asked, cocking his head slightly.

Bakura couldn't help the small smile that came over him and he just shrugged at Malik before turning back round and walking off the drive way.

The Egyptian went to the end of his drive, "Kura tell me!" he called after him with a smirk.

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't!" Bakura called back, not even looking over his shoulder at him. He simply waved behind at Malik as he carried on walking, eventually disappearing round the corner.

Malik sighed, a small smirk gracing his lips, "Damn your pride Kura..." he whispered to himself as he hopped back on the stool.

* * *

**Ba dum tish! Chapter all done... Kura's in a bit of a dilema ne? **

**Hoped you liked it! R&R!  
  
S4K**


	3. Pain

**Um... Sorry I was so long. I'm staying at my sisters house this week so I haven't had the chance to get online that much. And I re-wrote this chapter because it didn't work out right, but I hope it has now... **

**So yeah... Here's the 3rd chapter and I hope you like it **

* * *

**chapter 3: Pain**

Ryou was sitting in the back garden, softly strumming on his guitar as he did so. He was never allowed to play inside. Bakura said it gave him a head ache whenever the light played. He tried to make Ryou get rid of his guitar altogether. But instead the two _eventually _came up with a deal and the hikari had to sell his electric guitar to buy an acoustic because it was quieter and he could only play outside. Not that Ryou was bothered about it, he did like being outside, and he had grown quite fond of his acoustic guitar. So that's what the light did. Whenever his Yami was out for a long time he just sat outside, playing whatever tunes came to mind. And on a few occasions when Bakura had come home through the back gate, he had heard some of Ryou's songs and even admitted that they were 'all right'.

The cotton-haired teen sighed as he sat back against the small oak he was leaning against, his eyes lightly close as he let his thoughts wander and like always they settled on his other half. Ryou groaned with frustration for letting himself think about him when he was meant to be having 'his time'.

Ryou opened his eyes as he looked down the garden towards the house, his stare trailing up to the window of his and Bakura's room. He sat there just staring at the window into the dusk blue room. The hikari breathed softly as he remembered the nights he and Bakura spent together. The nights when it was nothing but perfect. The nights when they pretended nothing was wrong and everything was right. That no one ever ran in fear and no one hurt. Those were the nights Ryou treasured with all his heart. The feeling of having Bakura so close to him, the sensation of the dark's skin against his still sent a shiver up Ryou's spine. And how he loved it.

But then, the light's thoughts once again began to wander. Why couldn't it be like that all the time? Why couldn't he and Bakura be closer and not hurt one another? It was then that small tears began to gather in Ryou's chocolate eyes. His emotions began to trail out, and he cursed himself for letting it happen. He was so weak. Why couldn't he handle a few memories? Was it because they were more than just memories to him? It was. They were so much more. They were a simple desire. Ryou yearned for the past to be the future and it stung his heart to know it could never happen.

But could it?

Ryou swallowed hard as an idea came to mind. Confront Bakura. Was it too risky? If he revealed all to his darker half, he could be hated even more than he thought he was. But there's always a chance, and the hikari was going to take it. Put on a brave face; show no fear and if not for himself, then for Bakura.

* * *

Bakura walked slowly down the sidewalk back home. His thumbs, like always, hooked in the belt hoops of his jeans as his jacket flowing back in the wind. The darker half turned the corner to his street and he frowned at the fact his house was at the other end. _Why couldn't we live this end? _He thought to himself as he carried on walking.

His dark eyes narrowed slightly when he saw a few children playing in the streets ahead of him and his moaned slightly in annoyance. Bakura wasn't exactly fond of children. If they were sitting silently and still he could handle it. But if they were running around his ankles, screaming and shouting then he just despised them.

Bakura sighed as he neared the youths ahead of him; they were kicking a small blow-up ball all over the place. The spirit got to them and he made sure to stay clear of whoever it was that had the ball.

It was the exact moment Bakura crossed the street that, who he assumed, was the youngest of the group kicked the ball as hard as he could. The Yami spotted it from the corner of his eyes heading in his direction. Without even turning to face it, he simply raised his hand and caught the ball with ease.

The children 'oo-ed' and 'ahh-ed' as the spirit turned to face them, a devilish glint in his eyes instantly wiped the smiles of the youth's faces.

"Um... Mister can we have our ball back?" the one who kicked it asked, frowning at the dark.

Bakura just snickered at the look on the boys face.

"Give it back!" a girl suddenly squeaked out stomping her foot. 

Bakura rolled his eyes, "Why? What you gonna' do about it?" he asked in a mocking tone. And he had to admit teasing them was quite amusing and it much reminded him of when he teased Malik, except for the lack of cursing.

The girl frowned hard at Bakura before she jumped forward, landing on his foot.

"You little shit!" Bakura blurted out and the children gasped with shock, much to the dark's confusion, "What?"

"You said a bad word mister," a very small boy said, looking up at said other through his glasses.

"And... Haven't you kids ever said a _'bad word' _before?" Bakura asked with a smirk and they all shook their heads frantically. This could get even more entertaining.

"Well then. You aren't getting your ball back thanks to the little brat over there got it?"

All the children moaned and groaned with disapproval, as another girl stepped forward. Her hair was a light strawberry colour, freckles covering her nose as her black-rimmed glasses magnified her bright green eyes.

"Give us the ball," she stated simply, her voice very mature for her age.

Bakura cocked a brow at her, "And who might you be?"

"Aya, and you?" 

"Let's just say I'm the mean kid on the street," Bakura said, causing everyone but Aya to gulp.

"That won't work on me Mister. Now, give us the ball before I go get my Mother," Aya demanded.

"Oh, your _Mother," _Bakura mocked and he was quickly becoming bored of his little game.

"Ball. Now," Aya demanded again.

"Fine." Bakura stated as he dug his claw like nails into the ball that popped with ease in his grip.

"Nooo!" the children whined.

Bakura rolled his eyes as he dropped the rubbery blob to the floor and turned on his heels to leave.

"Little shits..." he muttered to himself, but made sure the youths heard it and much to his amusement they all gasped in union.

"Fuck!" Bakura shouted at the top of his voice, grinning with satisfaction when the children all fled into the back gate of a near by house.

* * *

Ryou's eyes widened slightly when he heard someone shouting in the street, and judging by the word itself he knew Bakura had been tormenting the children on their street... Again.

The hikari sighed softly as he got to his feet, making sure his face wasn't red to show he had been crying earlier. He then picked up his guitar and headed inside, just as he heard the front door shut.

"Back!" Bakura called simply, just to let his other half know he was home.

"I know..." a soft voice emitted from the doorway of the living room.

The spirits eyes lifted to where he heard the voice and he saw Ryou leaning against the doorframe.

"Where've you been?" Ryou asked, even though he knew perfectly well.

"Out," Bakura replied as he hung up his jacket.

"Out where?" the hikari asked again.

"Just out all right," Bakura hissed, his good mood suddenly vanishing as he walked past his light into the living room.

"Whatever Yami... I need to talk to you," Ryou said emotionlessly.

"About what?" Bakura asked as he stopped in his tracks and turned on his heels before he entered the kitchen.

"Well come here and you'll find out," the hikari said simply.

Bakura frowned, "Whatever..." he muttered as he leaned back against the wall.

"I think you'd want to sit for this."

"I'll stand," the Yami hissed.

Ryou sighed with frustration as fear began to engulf him. Telling Bakura something like this when he was in a bad mood was by far one of the scariest things Ryou had done.

"Fine then. Bakura..." Ryou paused, not knowing how to put it, "... How... do you think of me?"

"What... Your my hikari," Bakura said shrugging.

"Not that... Just, what do you think of me?"

Bakura's body instantly froze at the question as the thought of telling the truth came to mind, but he just couldn't do it. Uncontrollably the Yami just replied.

"You're all right."

"Bakura please, everything is all right to you now just tell me," Ryou demanded rolling his eyes at his darker halves answer.

"What? That is what I think of you."

"Really. That's it is it?" Ryou asked, folding his arms.

Bakura nodded and Ryou sighed.

"Ok then that's it. So you don't think I'm nice or nasty, or good or bad... Just all right?!" Ryou suddenly snapped.

"For Ra's sake Ry why do you want to know?!" Bakura snapped back.

"Because I do..." the hikari said, calming himself down.

"Why?" Bakura questioned.

"I was going to tell you but just forget it ok..." Ryou said softly, averting his eyes to the floor.

"No. Tell me why you asked me that," Bakura demanded in a stern voice.

"Because!" Ryou shouted out.

"Because what?!" Bakura yelled back.

"Because I love you!" Ryou screamed out, his eyes instantly widening as he slapped a hand to his mouth.

The spirit blinked a few times, and suddenly found himself speechless as a million thoughts raced through his mind. Did Ryou say that, or was it him just imagining things? Did Ryou mean it? Could things work? Should he say it back?

No.

"What did... You... Say?" Bakura asked, his eyes softening as he looked at Ryou.

Ryou sighed, softly biting his lip. He never intended it to come out like that. He wanted to say it softly and calmly, not screaming at his other half because he was annoyed with him.

"I love you..." Ryou whispered, "...That's why I wanted to know..."

Bakura swallowed hard as his light's head slowly raised, their eyes meeting.

"Ryou... I..." the Yami started, but was cut off when he saw tears gather in Ryou's eyes.

"Ryou..." Bakura mused as he instantly stepped forward and took said other into his arms, holding him close as Ryou clung to the taller one, grasping a fistful of his shirt as he buried his face into his chest.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry Yami... I shouldn't have said that..." Ryou said in a muffled voice, still clinging to Bakura as if his life depended on it.

"No... Don't be sorry..." Bakura whispered, gently caressing Ryou's back as he rested his chin on top of the light's head.

"D-don't you hate me?"

"Ry please. Why would I hate you?"

"Be-because you already do..."

Bakura's eyes instantly widened when he heard Ryou. Malik was right. Ryou thought he hated him.

"Hikari, I don't hate you all right so don't think like that," Bakura stated and Ryou nodded his head against his chest.

"What... Do you t-think of me then?" Ryou asked, lifting his head to look at Bakura.

"I... I don't know..."

"Bakura tell me."

"I can't Ryou," Bakura said, stepping away from his light, their eyes instantly meeting.

"Why?" Ryou whispered.

"I just can't ok," Bakura hissed fighting back his emotions that threatened to surface.

"WHY?! Bakura tell me! You either hate me or not! Which is it?!" Ryou demanded, his eyes streaming with tears.

"Neither!" Bakura snapped back.

"Then what is it then?! What else could it be?!" Ryou screamed. 

"Fine then! I hate you all right?! I fucking hate you! I hate you as my hikari! I hate living with you! I hate it how your so weak! I FUCKING HATE YOU! HAPPY?!" Bakura yelled at the top of his voice, his eyes wide when he realised what he had said.

Ryou broke down in more tears as his bottom lip began to tremble as he stared at the spirit before him.

"Bakura... Please d-"

"Don't Bakura please me hikari! You wanted an answer and you got one! So fucking deal with it!" Bakura shouted before turning on his heels and going upstairs to his room, slamming the door with force just as Ryou collapsed to his knees in tears.

* * *

**oO;; Ooooh fight... Bakura said mean things... Heheh hoped you liked it, and I continued the longness of the chapters heheh **

**R&R!!  
  
S4K**


	4. Truth

**Heheh, feeling in a very 'write-ative' mood today so here's the 3rd chapter nice and quick for you happy-chans  
And I had a wonderful suprise of finding about 15 reviews for this fic in my inbox today, thank you so much to all reviewers and readers! Love you all!!**

**And I don't own the song 'Long Way Down' by the Goo Goo Dolls... all though I really love it hehehe! **

* * *

**chapter 4: Truth**

Bakura screamed with frustration and anger, his whole body and mind fuming and just waiting to explode.

"Ahh!" the Yami yelled out again as he punched the wardrobe door with such force, his fist broke through the shattered wood.

He growled to himself as he paced back and forth in the room. How much he wanted to go downstairs and take his anger out on Ryou was unimaginable, but he held himself back for his and Ryou's sake. Ryou's because he would most likely end up killing the hikari from how mad he was and for his sake because he didn't want to see Ryou in the state he knew he was in.

Bakura sighed as he ran his hands back through his hair, his eyes narrowing when they fixed upon the stereo on the other side of the room. He sighed again and shuffled over to it, rummaging through his CD's until he found the one he wanted. Taking out the disc, he put it in the stereo, his eyes following the little door as it shut before he twisted the volume knob to the maximum volume. The spirit then clicked play as a very, very loud, heavy beat of drums and guitars began to blast from the speakers through out the house.

_"Oh here you are, there's nothing left to say!__  
__You're not supposed to be that way!__  
__Did they push you out?! Did they throw you away?!__  
__Touch me now and I don't care!__  
__When you take me I'm not there! __  
__Almost human, but I'll never be the same!!"_

The lyrics of Bakura's favourite song screamed out a full volume as he sat down on the bed, instantly falling back to stare up at the ceiling as he tapped his hands at his side in tune with the song.

His anger began to slowly fade, hearing the song calmed him down. Letting the words flow through him as the song blasted for all to hear.

* * *

Ryou lifted his head when he heard the song begin to echo through the whole house. His eyes saddening when he listened and he knew his other half was in an extremely bad mood. 

The tears continued to flow from his eyes as Bakura's harsh words rang in his mind, along with the song.

_"Long way down, I don't think I'll make it on my own!__  
__Long way down, I don't want to live in here alone!__  
__Long way down, I don't think I'll make it on my own!!"_

The hikari only cried harder as he listened to the song. Each and every word stinging his thoughts as they reminded him of what had happened and how he felt. Ryou suddenly felt rage approaching him. Circling him as if he was it's prey, just waiting to be pounced upon.

Soon it did. The lighter half suddenly began to feel so angry as he listened to the song, constantly replaying his dark's words in his mind he felt as if he was being possessed by his emotions.

Ryou slammed his fists down on the floor in front of him as he leaned forward on all fours, biting his lip to hold in the scream that threatened to escape his throat.

_"I never put you down, I never pushed you away! __  
__You're not supposed to be that way! __  
__And anything you want, there's nothing I could say!!"_

"How could he say that?" Ryou asked himself, his voice hardly heard from the screaming music.

The light was so confused, even more so than before. All those times he and Bakura had been so happy together, not a care in the world... Bakura still hated him.

How?

Why?

Ryou growled with anger, and not that he knew it, he much resembled the spirit himself when he did so as his thoughts raged inside his mind.

* * *

_"Long way down, I don't think I'll make it on my own!__  
__Long way down, I don't want to live in here alone!__  
__Long way down, I don't think I'll make it on my own!!"_

Bakura continued to stare up at the ceiling, trying his very hardest to compress his fury, but it wasn't working. The more he listened to the song the more irate he got when memories he'd give anything to forget started to come back to him.

_He _started to come back to him. His bitter voice echoed in his thoughts as he tried desperately to forget what he was remembering, but the song brought it all back to him. Yet still, the music and loudness were calming in their own twisted ways so the spirit kept it playing as he sat up from the bed.

_"Bakura..." _a voice hissed inside his mind and said Yami's eyes narrowed as they shot to the other side of the room.

Bakura cursed himself for letting himself think it was real when he knew perfectly well it was all in his head.

_"Don't worry... I won't hurt you..." _the same voice sneered again.

"Shut up!" Bakura said out loud getting to his feet.

_"Mwahahahaha," _an evil laugh began to echo in his mind, circling his thoughts with a vicious tone.

"FUCK! OFF!" the spirit shouted, holding his head in his hands as his knees bent slightly.

* * *

_"Is there anything to feel?! __  
__Is it pain that makes you real?!__  
__Cut me off before it kills me!!"_

Ryou's ears perked up when he heard his other half shouting above the music, that seemed to be getting louder but he knew it was all in his head.

The light still felt enraged, his fists clenched so hard he could feel his own nails pressing into his skin, but he didn't care. Too much was going through his mind to worry about physical pain.

"That's it..." Ryou muttered as he forced himself to his feet, "I'm getting answers Bakura whether you like it or not!" he said sternly to himself as if to give himself courage before he began to make his way upstairs to the music and to his Yami.

_"Long way down, I don't think I'll make it on my own!__  
__Long way down, I don't want to live in here alone!__  
__Long way down, I don't think I'll make it on my own!!_

_I never put you down, I never pushed you away!__  
__Take another piece of me!__  
__Give my mind a new disease! __  
__And the black and white world never fades to grey!!"_

_"Nothing will hurt you..." _the voice whispered again.

Bakura shook his head frantically in a desperate attempt to rid the memories and images from his mind.

_"I promise...." _the voice hissed in a mocking tone.

"SHUT UP!" Bakura yelled out again clamping his eyes shut.

* * *

_"Long way down, I don't think I'll make it on my own__  
__Long way down, I don't want to live in here alone __  
__Long way down, I don't think I'll make it on my own__  
__On my own..._

_On my own..."_

_"Bakura..."_

"NO!"

"Bakura?"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP MA-!" the spirit yelled out, his dark depths still slammed shut as he held his head in his hands.

"BAKURA!" a softer voice called out, snapping said other back into reality and cutting him off.

"WHAT?!" the Yami snapped, spinning round to where he heard his name being called, and instantly freezing when he saw Ryou standing in the doorway. It was then when he realised the song had finally ended

"How long have you been there?" Bakura hissed bitterly, his eyes glaring at the white-haired teen.

"Long enough," Ryou snapped back as he stepped into the room.

Bakura rolled his eyes; he certainly wasn't in the mood to deal with his lighter half no matter how he felt for him his anger at the moment was much stronger.

"What do you want?"

"The truth," Ryou said simply as he leaned against the wall, lightly folding his arms across his chest.

"To what?"

"Everything."

The hikari swallowed hard after he spoke, awaiting Bakura's response, his throat becoming dry.

"You already know it," Bakura hissed cruelly.

"No I don't. I don't know what all that was about just, I don't know why you _hate _me and seem to be afraid..." Ryou trailed off.

"Whatever hikari. You're not finding out shit," Bakura stated as he glared at the light.

"Bakura tell me!" Ryou shouted.

"NO!" said other yelled back, waving his arm across as if he was going to hit the hikari who cringed slightly.

"I want the truth!" the youth screamed.

"Fuck off Ryou! I just told you I HATED YOU! So WHY are you here talking to me?! PISS OFF!"

"NO! TELL ME N-" Ryou screamed again at the top of his lungs but was suddenly cut off by Bakura coming forward and pinning him against the wall.

Ryou's eyes instantly widened as he put his hands to his side, pressing himself as far back into the wall to try and escape the sinister glare that Bakura was sending him. He whimpered slightly as Bakura's hands pressed his elbows into the wall.

"Answers Bakura. Now."

Bakura stared at Ryou for a moment or two, his anger to simply smash the boy against the wall, just cause him any sort of pain began to engulf his mind. His reply was simply pushing the teen back before letting him go from his grip and stepping back.

"No," the platinum-haired dark stated.

"You're so cold," Ryou muttered.

"Excuse me?" Bakura questioned with a frown. 

"You. You're heartless, like your incapable of love. Let alone that, any sort of feeling apart from anger and hate! All I can ever figure out about you is that you want to be feared... Hated... Whatever! Are you not capable of loving or is your damn PRIDE stopping you?!" Ryou shouted out.

Bakura's frown grew as he came forward again, backing Ryou into the wall before he put his forearms against the wall, locking the teen against it.

"Don't you EVER presume something like that about me Ryou, especially when you know fuck all about me," Bakura hissed, his voice lowering to a malicious tone.

Ryou swallowed hard as he stared into the depths of his Yami, getting lost in their pools of darkness.

Bakura did the same, both standing in silence, staring at the other. Then, uncontrollably, Bakura took one hand from the wall and gently stroked the back of his index finger down Ryou's soft cheek.

The teen didn't once flinch. Instead he sighed softly at the touch, lightly leaning into it.

"So beautiful..." the spirit whispered, lost in his own thoughts.

Ryou stared into the dark brown orbs of his Yami's eyes, noticing a glint of aged pain and fear he had never seen before which caused him to swallow hard again, his mouth falling slightly open.

"Your... Suffering aren't you?" Ryou whispered, his voice soft.

Bakura took his hand back sighing and ignoring his hikari's question as he replaced his forearm against the wall and once again locking the teen against it. The spirit stared down at Ryou as he leaned his head down, letting his lips linger just above his hikari's who lifted his head to let Bakura kiss him. But the Yami hesitated before he lifted his head.

"I can't..." he whispered, sounding as if he was thinking out loud.

"Why? What are you so afraid of?!" Ryou blurted out, his voice slightly raised and Bakura picked it up instantly and stepped back from his lighter half.

"You want to know what I'm afraid of?" Bakura hissed, his eyes dull and lifeless.

"Yes," Ryou stated simply, trying to ignore the bitterness of his Yami's voice.

Bakura sighed, running his hands back through his hair before he took his shirt in his hands and pulled it over his head.

Utterly confused and thinking his dark had finally lost his mind completely; Ryou stepped forward from the wall.

"Yami?" Ryou questioned as Bakura threw his pale grey shirt to the floor.

Bakura ignored his light and turned, revealing his bare back.

Ryou's eyes instantly widened when they settled upon Bakura's back. Locking onto the marks that were scattered all over his skin. He whimpered slightly in concern when it became painfully obvious that the scars weren't there by accident or by the hands of Bakura himself.

"Who... Who did this to you?" Ryou whispered reaching out, but he didn't dare touch them.

Bakura just laughed sadistically, which did frighten the lighter half as he turned round, their eyes meeting.

"You're right Ryou. I am suffering, and I've lost more than you know when Marik showed up..." Bakura trailed off, his eyes never once leaving Ryou's.

"No..." Ryou whispered as reality began to dawn upon him, slowly but surely.

"Yes. He was wonderful to be around at the start. So daring and adventurous I started to think more of him. But it was then when his _true _colours began to show through. His twisted, cruel, sad colours hikari," Bakura sneered, "Then. When he was banished and I was finally free from his... Torture, I started to fall in love... Again."

"Bakura... I'm... I'm sorry..." Ryou said softly, putting a hand on said dark's shoulder, but he only flinched and the hikari pulled straight back with wide eyes.

"Why do you think I'm the one that makes all the moves Ryou? Why do you think I never let you touch me? Why do you think I was the one who took you and never the other way round? I'll tell you why, I had control. I knew I wouldn't get hurt that way. I knew I could have you to myself for a while... Everyone I've ever loved, hurt me hikari, whether it be physically of mentally... It still hurt. So don't you _dare _say I can't love because your damn wrong Ryou. So wrong..."

Ryou quickly found himself in more tears as he listened to Bakura, his lower lip trembling slightly from what he was hearing, trying to imagine how much it must have hurt Bakura to make him the way he was.

"So wrong..." Bakura muttered as he picked up his shirt and pulled it on again before heading for the door.

"Bakura... Where are you going, it's late..." Ryou asked, instantly reaching out and grabbing said others arm, causing him to visibly tense. 

"Out," he snapped as he snatched back his arm.

And at that Bakura left the room and headed downstairs. Ryou listened to his footsteps that were closely followed by the sound of the front door slamming shut.

* * *

**::Clings to Kura:: Who thought he could spill all that to little Ryou..... Find out everyone's reaction in the next chapter my happy-chans.... But... Personally I think that chapter was very poorly written so I apologise if it is...**

**R&R perdy please  
  
S4K**


	5. Weak

**Heylow happy-chans XD Heh, 5th chapter finally here... And so, hope you like it...**

* * *

**five: Weak**

Bakura walked with his head down in the cold autumn air. He shoved his hands in his pockets as he kicked every stone on the floor he came across.

_Why did I tell him all of that? No one apart from Malik was supposed to know... I'm such a baka..._ the Yami thought to himself as he walked, not really knowing where he was going he just let his feet take him._ He'll hate me now... I've fucked up my chances; he'll think I'm weak now... All the times I've been so selfish and strong in front of him, and then he finds out that twat Marik was able to have his 'way' with me. It's so screwed up..._

After around ten minutes of walking, Bakura eventually found himself in the local park, and seen as it was quite late at night no one was around. A half smile graced the spirits lips, as he was thankful for the solitude. His eyes trailed round until he noticed a bench near by, he made his way over to it and climbed up so he was sitting on the back of it, and his feet on the seat. Resting his elbows on his knees, Bakura stared out across the small lake, if you can call it a lake that was in the centre of the park.

"Such a baka..." he whispered to himself just as he felt the air move behind him.

Bakura instantly span round so his feet were dangling down on the other side, his hand at his belt, and eyes narrowed only to see...

"Malik?"

"That's me," the Egyptian said with a small smile, his eyes trailing down to where Bakura's hand was, "and I see you still carry _that_ around with you then?"

The albino sighed and nodded, "Don't go anywhere without it..."

"Why do you carry that with you Kura? I mean... It's a knife, you get caught with that then you're done," Malik said as he pulled himself up next to Bakura, facing back towards the lake.

Bakura shrugged, taking it out and clicking the side to let the silver blade shoot out before he twirled it round in his fingers. "Just in case..." was his only reply.

"He isn't going to come back Bakura," Malik said, knowing whom his friend was thinking about.

"He might, I managed to get out of the Shadow Realm so what's stopping him?" the brown-eyed spirit said as he put the blade back, "Besides it's not as if I use it..."

"Anymore," Malik added with a smirk and Bakura playfully slapped his arm.

"What are you doing out anyway?" the Yami asked.

"Got bored... And Isis was on a rampage which was starting to scare me so I just left her to it," Malik said with a heavy sigh of relief.

"Heh, always the best thing to do with her..." Bakura said trailing off as he stared ahead of him.

Malik looked at the fiend next to him and noticed the far off look in his chocolate eyes. He sighed softly to himself as he stared at Bakura and the longer he stared the more hurt he looked as he sat perfectly still, not even blinking as he stared.

"Kura... Are you ok?" the Egyptian asked softly so not to startle Bakura from his thoughts.

Bakura finally blink and lowered his stare to the floor, "Not really no..." he said in a far off voice.

"What's... Happened now?" Malik asked, knowing perfectly well who was making the spirit so sad. 

"I told him," was Bakura's only response.

"About what?"

"Marik."

The Egyptian gasped lightly when he was told, his eyes slightly widening. "Did, you tell him off your own will or was it in a fight?"

"It started as a fight... Ryou started to demand answers out of me. We nearly kissed a-"

"Kissed?!" Malik blurted out, interrupting the fiend.

Bakura smiled, knowing Malik would get excited with that part of his little story. "Yes, kissed... It was so close but... I pulled back."

"Why? I thought you liked him?" Malik asked, starting to get confused.

"Heh, I do... But when he was there and so... near to me... I duno... I just couldn't do it."

"Probably your little theory about hikari's and Yami's not being together ne?" Malik asked with a sigh. 

"Most likely had something to do with it..." Bakura said with a sad look in his eyes before he continued, "Anyway, he said something like, 'you're suffering aren't you' and 'what are you so afraid of?'... I ended up spilling pretty much everything out to him... Which I fucking regret so, so much."

"Hm... I can see why, but then again, there might be a good thing with all of this," Malik said softly.

"A good thing? Please... Telling your hikari that another Yami over powered you, what's so good about that Malik?" the Albino asked in an amused tone, but the Egyptian just shrugged it off.

"Think about it... Even if you were pissed off at the time, you still felt secure enough to tell Ryou all the stuff you did. That has to mean something right?"

"Maybe... But thinking about it like that still doesn't stop me feeling t-"

Bakura was cut off by a faint beeping sound coming from the blonde. His chocolate eyes watched his friend pull out a cell phone from the back pocket and read something on the screen.

"What's up?" the Yami asked. 

"Isis wants me home... Apparently she's calmed down..." Malik said with a sigh.

"Heh, I'll walk you." 

"Thanks..." Malik said with a smile.

The two got down from the bench and began to walk down the grassy path that led out of the park and to Malik's house.

"Sorry about that... You were saying?" Malik said as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

"It's ok... And I said that even if I think about it in that way, it doesn't stop the way I'm feeling," the platinum-haired spirit said with a sigh.

"And how are you feeling?"

"Like shit..."

"Bakura," Malik said in a serious tone and the Albino sighed.

"Confused, hate myself, stressed, scared..." Bakura trailed off as he hooked his thumbs in his belt hoops.

Malik listened carefully, "Anything else?"

"...Weak," Bakura added in a hushed voice, the blonde barely hearing it.

"Ok then... Let's start from the beginning... Why do you feel confused?" the Egyptian asked.

"Because I can't make up my mind on how I feel about Ryou... When I just think about him as Ryou, I swear to Ra I love him so much..."

Malik smiled at the fiends comment, never thinking he'd live to see the day that Yami Bakura would say such a thing.

"... But when I think of loving him as my hikari, I automatically think it's wrong to love him," Bakura finished, his eyes averting the floor.

"And why do you think it's wrong?" the blonde asked. 

"I'm confused about that too..." the spirit said, pouting softly, looking rather cute as he did so.

"All right then... So, why do you hate yourself?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Bakura asked as the two crossed the street.

"No, not really..." Malik said shrugging.

"You'd hate yourself too if you did what I've done to Ryou... Even though it's been a while since I've truly hurt him, and I mean almost fatally hurt him... I've still caused him pain, both mentally and physically. He thinks I just like playing games with his head, but he just doesn't know what I'm going through... He knows what caused most of it... But it's not the same..."

Malik listened with all of his attention, feeling so much sympathy for Bakura. The blonde wondered what it was like to be going through such a thing, to be so confused about someone you love with all your heart. He felt Bakura's pain and wished there was something he could do to help him, but all he could do was listen to his white-haired friend and offer him comfort if he ever needed it. But Bakura's pride was too strong for anything like that, even when Malik could tell that all the fiend needed was something as simple as a hug, the spirit would never accept it.

_Fucking pride... _Malik thought to himself after Bakura had finished speaking.

The Egyptian's house came into view and Bakura sighed softly when he saw it, sad to be rid of the company he truly was thankful for, even though he'd never admit it out loud.

They eventually arrived at the end of Malik's drive way and came to a stop at the small brick pillar of the front wall.

"Before I go in... There's one more thing I want to ask..." Malik said turning to face Bakura.

"What?" the Yami asked simply.

"Not that I'm paying you a compliment or anything, but why do you feel weak? I mean, Kura you're anything but that," the Egyptian said as he folded his arms lightly.

Bakura shrugged, "I said I feel weak, not that I am weak... I duno really, it's like I'm really- insecure to put it bluntly. Argh I duno... I just do ok?" he asked, making it obvious he wasn't going to explain any more.

Malik nodded, "Yeah ok... Thanks for walking me."

"No prob-" Bakura cut himself off when his eyes trailed over Malik's shoulder to the front window of his house to see Isis standing with crossed arms, and a very angry look in her eyes.

"Er, I think you're wanted," the Albino said nodded behind Malik who looked to where Bakura nodded to, his expression saddening.

"Oh shit... Tonight's going to be... Fun..." he muttered with a heavy sigh. 

"Good luck," Bakura said with a smirk.

"Thanks, I'll need it..." Malik said as he stepped through the small gate to his driveway.

"See you round Kura-chan," the Egyptian said smiling.

The spirit returned the smile and nodded, "See ya, and thanks for listening."

"Anytime," the blonde mused as he nodded back, and the two went their separate ways. One to their rampaging sister, and the other back to being on their own, the only company being their confusing emotions.

* * *

As soon as Bakura left Ryou collapsed onto the couch in tears. Over 2 hours had passed and the young light was still pouring his heart out into his hands. Why hadn't he known? Didn't Bakura trust him enough to let him know such a thing. The hikari only cried harder the more he thought about it, but he refused to forget about what he had bee told until he figured _something _out. Like why didn't he know Marik was doing such things to his other half, and was there any more that he didn't know. His dark's words rang through his mind.

_"I've lost more than you know..."_

Thoughts began to plague the teens mind as his mind wandered to what else could have happened, which only caused Ryou to panic. The hikari never truly hated someone, like everyone else; he wasn't too fond of other people, but never hating them. But the one thing he was sure of from the start of all this, Ryou knew he hated Marik. Despised him with all his worth. How dare he do such things to his Yami! He didn't hurt Malik so what gave him the right to hurt Bakura? Ryou growled lightly and decided to stop thinking about Marik for the time being and he let his thoughts go back to Bakura.

* * *

The darker half walked slowly down the midnight deserted streets. He was grateful for the solitude, yet he wouldn't exactly mind if Malik was still with him. Even though the Albino didn't show it that well, he loved the blonde's company as much as he did Ryou's.

Bakura sighed as he walked along, not really paying any attention to what was going on around him as he let his thoughts take him. That was until a small noise of something shifted behind him.

The Yami froze on the spot, his hand instantly going to his belt. He stayed silent and still, his eyes going to the side so he could just see behind him from the corner of his eyes. Something shifted again and his eyes automatically narrowed as he quickly turned on his heels, blade out and alert. But no one was there.

"What the fuck?" Bakura muttered to himself, "Urgh... Parano-" he froze again when he heard the same rustling sound, and it was then that a small tabby cat came out from the bush that was acting as a wall for the house he was currently passing.

The spirit let out a heavy sigh, "Stupid fur ball..." he hissed as he put the knife back to his belt. He was about to carry on his journey home when he felt something soft and warm wrapping around his ankles. "Get off..." he frowned, growling lightly at the cat to scare it away but it only sat at his feet, looking up at the fiend with an utterly stumped expression.

"Go away," Bakura ordered pointing for the cat to go back where it came from. "Urgh," he sighed and just decided to ignore the feline and he carried on walking along the sidewalk.

The brown-eyed Yami was just slipping back into his own 'world' when the sound of a meow snapped him back to reality. He turned round to see the tabby close on his heels, looking up at him with big green eyes.

"You're going to keep following me aren't you?" Bakura said with a sigh as the cat rubbed round his ankles.

The spirit sighed again as he looked round the street. He made sure no one was watching before he knelt down and stroked the cat, seeing it had no collar and was a tad scruffy he instantly thought it was a stray. His eyes made one more quick scan of the street before he picked up the purring feline in his arms and stood back up.

"Tch... Ryou can do something with you..." he muttered to himself as he carried on walking along, the tabby happily nuzzling in his arms, much to the fiends annoyance.

* * *

**Hm... All done, hoped you liked it, not a very exciting chapter I know but the next one, I promise will have more 'fun' in XD **

**R&R  
  
S4K**


	6. Sorry

**Hm... Chapter 6 is here my happy-chans XD Hope you like it, and like I promised, this isn't boring like the previous chapter... Enjoy!**

* * *

**six: Sorry**

Still crying, eyes still stinging, and thoughts still filled with confusion as Ryou sat in the same spot on the couch. His head buried in his hands, the emotions within pouring out for all to see, and it hurt even more to know no one was even there to see.

Ryou wanted nothing but love right then. Anything. He wanted to be in someone's arms and hear them whisper comforting words in his ear and tell him everything's going to be ok. He wanted to feel the calming feeling when someone hugs you when you need it most better yet, he wanted his Yami.

The hikari sighed heavily as he rubbed his eyes, hissing slightly at the stinging sensation that was felt in his eyes at the slightest touch. He had never cried like this before. Even when his other half had hurt him so badly, yes he cried, but not for this long. All that he had found out hurt so much more than anything he had ever felt; yet the light didn't even know why.

The sound of the front door creaking shut sounded and Ryou's head instantly turned to the door, waiting to see his other half enter. But he never did.

Ryou frowned slightly as he got to his feet, the tears that were waiting to drip from his cheeks doing so from the sudden movement as he went to the doorway.

"Yami?" the light asked softly as he walked into the hallway.

Chocolate eyes lowered to see said other with a bundle in his arms, pulling off his shoe with his other foot and trying not to drop the thing in his arms.

"Bakura... What have you got?" Ryou asked, eyeing what looked like a ball of fluff in the spirit's hold. 

"A damn cat..." Bakura muttered when he finally got his shoe off.

"A cat? Why've you got a cat? You hate them..."

"I know I do but the stupid thing wouldn't stop following me..." Bakura stood up straight, his eyes locking onto those of the other, "...Besides, you like these fur balls so I thought you'd want it," the fiend added with a slight shrug of his shoulders.

Ryou smiled softly. He did love cats, and seeing his usual anti-feline Yami holding one was the cutest thing he'd ever seen.

"Thank you Bakura," Ryou said softly.

"Whatever... Just have it," the fiend said holding the cat out to Ryou who took it.

"Stupid thing..." Bakura muttered as he brushed hair from his shirt before walking round Ryou to go into the living room.

Ryou rolled his eyes before looking at the feline in his arms. It's brilliant green eyes staring up at him with either utter confusion or curiosity for he couldn't really tell. The light sighed and gently put the cat down and watched with scamper off up the stairs, before he went back into the living room.

"Why are you crying?" Bakura said randomly, not even looking at Ryou as he went over to the couch and sat down.

"I... I'm not," Ryou stated, rubbing his aching eyes that were still in fact tearing against his will.

"And I'm not stupid. Tell me why," Bakura ordered as he ran his hands back through his hair.

"You already know why I am..." Ryou replied, sitting down on the arm of the other couch in the room.

"Then why are you crying about that... It's not as if it affects you," the fiend stated, his eyes rising to meet Ryou's.

Ryou shook his head as if in disbelief, "Of course it affects me Bakura. It m-"

"Ry please... I don't want to talk about it. I've got a fucking headache and I can't be arsed to listen," Bakura said, more bitterly than he intended it to be.

Ryou frowned slightly, "Fine... I know when my company's not wanted," the light stated in a hurt tone as he got up to leave.

"I said I didn't want to talk about it, not for you to go," Bakura stated.

"Well I don't want to be here if you don't want to talk about it, because like I said, it does affect me and I want to tell you why, but if you can't be _arsed _then I'll go," the lighter half hissed as he went to the door.

"Ryou."

"What?" the hikari snapped.

Bakura opened his mouth to speak, but what he wanted to say never reached his lips, "...Forget it."

"My point exactly..." Ryou muttered, a cold look in his eyes before he turned, his footsteps heard running upstairs to their room.

Bakura ran his hands back through his hair again as he sighed with frustration, he most certainly wasn't in the mood for an argument, but he knew one was coming judging by Ryou's vulnerable mood. The fiend groaned slightly in annoyance as he gathered himself to his feet and started to make his way upstairs, growling when the tabby ran past his ankle.

"Why did I give him that..." Bakura muttered to himself as he went to the bedroom door, slowly pushing it open and stepping inside.

* * *

Sorrow filled eyes trailed over to the door to see his other half step inside, and he sighed softly before going back to staring outside into the darkness of the night.

The Albino didn't say anything to Ryou; he just went into his normal routine and made his way past his lighter half into the small bathroom connected to their room.

After a few minutes passed, Bakura came out of the bathroom, shirtless and belt undone as he sat down on the bed. He wouldn't usually walk around with his torso showing but now Ryou knew about the marks, he couldn't care less.

Seeing the colour of flesh in the corner of his eyes, Ryou glanced over at Bakura to see him with his back to him and he bit his lip slightly when his depths made out the faint lines of the scars on his dark's back.

_Just say it Bakura... You need to know why... _the Yami thought to himself as he took in a deep breath.

"...Why does it affect you?" Bakura finally asked.

"It doesn't affect me..." Ryou replied as he let one leg dangle down from the windowsill and rested the side of his head against the glass, eyes fixed on the night outside.

"Yes it does. You said it yourself now tell me."

"I don't want to..."

Bakura growled to himself, his patience vastly running out from Ryou's childish behaviour.

"Ryou... Tell me," the fiend stated bluntly.

"Why?"

"...Because I want to know."

"You didn't downstairs, what's different from then to now?" Ryou asked, tilting his head to look at the platinum-haired spirit.

"I don't know... But I want to know now," the Yami stated, turning round and looking back at his other half.

"Whatever," Ryou said with a sigh as he brought his legs round so he was sitting forward on the ledge, "...What do you want to know?" he asked, tear tracks still at his cheeks, and Bakura could tell they were new.

"You know that already."

"Fine... It does _affect _me because you're my Yami."

"And?"

"What do you mean and?" Ryou snapped, shocked his Yami said such a blunt thing.

"And... What does me being your Yami to do with any of this?" Bakura asked.

"Because it does! If someone had been hurting me and doing what I think happened to you then you'd know how I was feeling!" Ryou cried.

The spirit's eyes narrowed as he listened to Ryou.

"Just think about it Bakura. You care about someone, you see them suffering and they refuse to tell you. Then when you finally do get it out of them, it's something you'd never expect. To know someone else was hurting that person you care most about and you couldn't do anything about it. That you didn't even know it was happening!" the hikari stated, tears rolling down his cheeks.

Bakura's eyes saddened slightly as he looked at his lighter half.

"I couldn't have told you Ryou," Bakura said randomly.

"And why not?" the other asked as he climbed down off the ledge and walked over to the wall opposite the bed, leaning against it, awaiting Bakura's answer.

"Because I couldn't."

"Why, were you too heartless to tell the person who's meant to be the closest to you?" Ryou asked emotionlessly.

Bakura growled at Ryou's comment, and it took a lot of his will to just shrug it off. "No... I was, protecting you."

"Protecting me? From what?" the hikari asked almost in a humoured tone.

Hearing Ryou talk to him like that triggered something inside of Bakura. "Don't talk to me like that hikari, you don't know half the shit and your acting as if you know everything there is to know," he hissed.

Ryou's eyes widened slightly as Bakura's sudden bitterness, "What were you protecting me from then?"

"Marik," Bakura stated.

"Marik?"

"Yes Marik. If I told anyone he said he'd go after them. So yes hikari, I was protecting you from Marik, because like you said yourself, you're the closest person to me so I didn't want you to get hurt," the Albino said and it was him who was emotionless now as he stood to his feet.

"But you didn't care when Marik was around. You were cold, mean, you didn't give a crap about me," Ryou stated, looking at his Yami with disbelief.

"Shut up!" Bakura suddenly yelled.

"Ba-"

"Shut the fuck up with all this 'you were cold' shit Ryou!"

"But it's true! You couldn't care less about anything but yourself and the damn Items back then!" the hikari shouted back, even though he was starting to get scared.

"You say I'm heartless and I don't care but how the _fuck _would you know hikari?! How would you know that I was acting like I hated you so Marik wouldn't waste his time on you because he thought I couldn't care less about you?! How would you know that I feel more and more like shit after every day from what I've done for you?! And hikari, how would you know that I wish every damn day I could take it all back?!" Bakura blurted out, his fists clenched at his sides.

"I... I..."

"You wouldn't would you?! You wouldn't know about all that because your too busy thinking I'm heartless and I'm not capable of any other feelings apart from hate and anger!" the fiend yelled as he moved up close to Ryou, backing him against the wall. "Well guess what Ryou, I can feel things other than hate and anger want to know why? Because I love you! But you wouldn't realise that because you were to wrapped up in how you felt you didn't bother to even wonder how I was feeling!"

Ryou's mouth instantly dropped open as he started at his Yami. His lower lip trembling from fear, shock and the tears that still streamed from his eyes. He couldn't take it anymore, finding out so many things he had no clue about hurt him too much, and in such a short space of time. The light skipped a breath as his tears worsened, a small whimper escaping him when he averted his chocolate depths to the floor. The tears dropped from his eyes straight to the floor, as he looked down, unable to speak or even look at the fiend before him.

Bakura stared at the crying light, feeling so guilty for putting through all of this. He never meant to make him cry, he never meant to hurt him the way he was. He had to tell him the other reason he didn't tell him, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. To tell Ryou he kept all his feelings hidden with hate and anger because he was scared of something so simple as rejection. To tell him that he thought by not telling Ryou, he would be protecting him from himself, but instead, he only hurt him even more.

"Ryou..." Bakura whispered softly, reaching out and lifting his chin up so their eyes met.

"I'm sorry..." Ryou muttered, lifting his head away from Bakura's hands.

A storm of guilt suddenly blew over the Albino making him feel even worse than he already did. "Ry... Why are you sorry?" he asked, both of them suddenly calm as he reached out and brushed his bangs from his eyes.

The hikari stepped back against the wall, "No... I am... Your right I... I assumed all those things about you... Your not heartless... I am..."

Bakura's eyes widened and he pulled his lighter half in an embrace.

"I'm so, so sorry Bakura..." Ryou cried, grasping a fistful of his other halves shirt.

"Shhh... Ryou..." Bakura whispered, lifting his chin again so their eyes met, the two gazing into the others depths, his other hand resting against the wall by Ryou's head. 

"Kura... I-"

The spirit gently putting a finger to his mouth cut off the light. Bakura swallowed hard as he leaned down closer to his hikari.

Ryou began to tremble, not from fear, but from the pure adrenalin from the feeling when his lips lightly brushed against Bakura's. The hikari instantly melted at the sensation as the Yami put one hand on his side, pressing his lips to his in a tender kiss. Ryou moaned softly when his other half licked along his lip for access to his mouth, he wanted to give it so badly, but pure panic began to overwhelm his pleasure and he suddenly pulled back from Bakura.

Bakura's eyes saddened, "Ryou..."

"I'm sorry..." Ryou whispered before ducking under Bakura's arm, and fleeing from the room.

* * *

**Oooooh so close yet so far... Hmmm.... Hoped you liked that as much as I liked writing it XD**

**R&R happy-chans!**

**S4K**


	7. Hate

**Er... Long time to update and I'm sorry about that. I've just gone into a new and very busy year at school, coursework sucks... Anywho, 7th chapter here for you happy-chans, hope you like...**

**

* * *

**

**severn: Hate**

Ryou went into his old room after fleeing from Bakura, tears once again streaming from his eyes. Why did he do it? Why did he run? He was kissing Bakura and he ran! Why?! The light had wanted it so much, for it not to be just some kiss like he and his other half had done before, he wanted it to actually mean something... And that did.

Maybe it scared him. To feel something so strong and so sudden did jolt a slight fear inside the hikari, but to him, that was no reason to run. Yet he still did.

"You baka..." Ryou muttered to himself as he leaned back against the door of his old room, tears streaming from his eyes as he pictured Bakura's face. The pained, hurt look in the dark's eyes stung his heart, burning him from the inside out the more he thought about it.

Thinking about it only caused him misery, which made anger and self-hatred engulf the young hikari.

"Such a baka!" Ryou suddenly yelled out, slamming his fists against the door in anger, "Why... Why?!" he collapsed against the wood, the tears falling faster as he cried his braking heart out.

Resting with his forearms and forehead against the door, Ryou cried and cried his vision blurry as he stared at the pale floor. A tear falling to the ground and stiffled moans escaped the cotton-haired teen as he realised more and more how stupid he had been for running away. He knew for certain Bakura would hate him for doing so.

* * *

Bakura didn't move. His arm still rested against the wall as he stood facing it, utterly shocked on what had just happened. He stared down at the wall before him, his mouth slightly open as if it were still at his light's lips. Why? Why had he run? The Yami swallowed hard as he thought about the possibilities. Did he scare him, was he to forceful, did he take it to fast... Did Ryou not want it? The spirit slid his arm down the wall until it was back at his side. He'd done it now. Ryou would never want him after that; it was clear from the simple fact that the light pulled away from the kiss.

The platinum-haired Yami sighed as he turned from the wall and looked at the open door of the room, his eyes gazing out onto the landing as if he didn't know what was around the corner. Should he go and speak to him, apologise maybe? Yes. That was probably the best thing to do, and to Bakura, it was the least he could do to make it up to Ryou.

Running his hands back through his hair, Bakura made his way out of the bedroom and down the landing to Ryou's old room where he heard the muted moans of his lighter half. He'd made him cry.

Again.

Why did he always do that? Bakura shook his head slightly as if he was in disbelief. That's all he ever did. Always he made his other half cry. He caused him pain, agony and hurt, never once compassion and love. Just pain. Why? The spirit never meant it. He never wanted to do the things he used to do to Ryou, never. But he still did. His anger always took control of him, yet he fought to keep his emotions at bay, the only counter attack he could conger up was anger. Ryou had said it himself; the only feelings Bakura ever showed were anger and hate. Why was he the way he was? Why couldn't he just show his true feelings?

_It's his entire fault..._ Bakura thought to himself as his fists clenched.

Ryou was right, and he still was. Hate. Bakura hated himself so, so much. How much he hated himself for doing the things he had done, and did. He hated it how he couldn't change, and no matter how much he begged his mind to let him, how much he pleaded to anyone who could help him, he hated it that no one _ever _answered and he knew all to well, no one ever would.

Bakura turned on his heels and went back into their bedroom, sitting down on the bed with his elbows on his knees. His hands were shaking. Why? That had never happened to him before. He held his hands over his knees and stared down at them in disbelief. It was then that he started to feel damp on his cheek.

No. Bakura was crying.

"I..." the Yami muttered to himself as he wiped his eye and looked at his hand. A small, thin trail of wetness stretched across his skin.

Bakura's mouth fell open slightly as he just stared at his hand, only to find more tears slowly spilling from his eyes. He'd never cried, not once in his life. He was new to the feeling yet it felt so... Right. It felt normal to be crying at a time like this, to hate yourself so much for constantly hurting the one you're meant to protect and love with everything you had, crying... Seemed to be the only answer.

* * *

Ryou was now on the floor, leaning back against the door with his head tilted backwards. The tears still streamed from his eyes as Bakura's face remained on his thoughts. No matter how much he tried, the light couldn't get the pained eyes away and stop them from staring back at him. The light slowly shut his eyes, sobbing silently as the tears gathered in his closed lids.

_He hates me... I wanted it so much... I wanted him so much... So, so much and now I never will... _Ryou thought silently to himself, _but... Then...Why should he have me? After all he's done to me, the pain and misery he's put me through... And yet my feelings never changed... Why? Why do I constantly give him chance after chance? No... He... Doesn't... Deserve, another..._

The light couldn't believe what he was thinking, but he still knew it was true. Bakura had hurt him so much over the years, yet his love only ever got stronger, and hatred never once filled his thoughts.

Until now.

Why? Why hadn't he realised it before? The pain, agony, misery, hurt... The countless days that Ryou had wanted nothing more to leave it all behind, and the countless times he had said, it'll all pass. But it never did. Bakura was still angry with him, Bakura was still nasty, and Bakura was still heartless.

Until then.

That moment, that kiss showed him something that he thought he'd never see. Bakura showed he cared. Maybe that was the reason Ryou put up with him? The small flicker of hope that Bakura would, and could change. Maybe... But only maybe.

Ryou sighed and opened his tear-filled eyes and started at the opposite wall with blurred vision. He loved Bakura so much he hated him. But... Who in their right mind couldn't love his Yami? So devious and sexy. His voice always calm and smooth yet permanently hinted with a seductive tint. His body, nothing but perfect, skin so soft, and his eyes so deep. Filled with emotions that never surface, so many unanswered questions' floating about in his chocolate depths grabbed Ryou whenever he gazed into them. And just, the way he was. _That_ entranced the light the most. Simply Bakura's actions and attitude. So strong and pride filled, never letting anything get in his way or anyone change him, Ryou admired that, Ryou loved that. The sly aura that Bakura gave off brought out the deepest lust inside of the hikari, the way the spirit just looked at him. That smirk. The most sinister smile Ryou had ever seen was also the most caring in his eyes. Mostly everyone else saw Bakura as an evil person who only looks out for himself not caring who he hurt along the way, but Ryou knew better. Ryou knew the real Bakura, the Bakura that was just as vulnerable as he was. The only difference, the Yami was better, a lot better, at simply hiding it.

* * *

The thought that Bakura now hated him continued to sting his heart. Once again, his Yami had hurt him, even if he never meant to, he still did. Ryou was fed up with it. He was fed up with the constant nag of agony inside of him, the constant void of depression that followed him round like a shadow.

"I... Hate him..." Ryou muttered to himself, though his voice was filled with doubt. How could he hate Bakura? But... He did. Only now had he thought about his other half in this way, only now had he put all the things that have happened between them together, and only now had he realised they were filled with so many bad memories.

Ryou shook his head to try and banish the thoughts from his mind, yet they wouldn't go. He wanted to talk to someone, but there was no one. He couldn't talk to Bakura right now, he couldn't even bare to look at him, knowing that one glimpse of those eyes he'd forget everything all over again.

But, there was one person he could go to, and they'd defiantly listen. He used to visit him all the time, but then he stopped for some reason, yet they were still good friends.

Sighing, Ryou pushed himself to his feet and left the old bedroom, carelessly dragging his hands across the wall as he went. The light walked silently along the landing, stopping at the edge of the bedroom doorway, as the door was open slightly. He swallowed hard before slightly peeping through the crack to see Bakura sitting on the bed, head in his hands.

A small gasp escaped Ryou when Bakura casually lifted his head to wipe his eyes.

"He's..." the light muttered when he saw tiny tears slowly rolling down the spirits cheeks, "Wha..."

Ryou suddenly felt himself feeling lower than low, a stampede of guilt crashing into him at full force as tears streamed from his eyes. He quickly span on his heels and ran down the landing, the stairs, along the hallway and through the front door into the open Street and early hours of the morning.

* * *

Bakura's eyes shot towards the doorway when he heard the front door slam. Quickly gathering himself to his feet he went over to the window, gazing out to see his hikari walking down the street, constantly looking over his shoulder as if in fear.

"Ryou..." the Yami whispered to himself as he lightly put his hand on the window, his breath steaming the glass and blurring Ryou's faint outline as he vanished down the road.

* * *

Ryou crossed his arms as he walked, glancing over his shoulder as he went. His breathing was slightly heavier than usual, the coldness of the morning making goose bumps appear on his am and his breath visible in the air.

Crossing the street, the light picked up his pace to a fast walk down the street, wanting to get there as quick as he could. Glancing back again, he felt as if he was being followed.

_Stop scaring yourself Ryou... No one's out this early... _the light muttered in thought as he walked, getting nearer and nearer, eventually arriving at the end of the driveway.

With tears still rolling, Ryou went up to the door and knocked softly so not to disturb the rest of the neighbourhood.

No answer.

"Please..." the light muttered as he knocked again, a bit louder, and this time he saw the light inside flicker on.

A blonde clumsily rummaged through his keys to unlock the front door before opening it.

"What the fu- Ryou?" Malik asked with wide eyes when he saw the crying hikari before him.

"Malik... Can... Can I come in please?" the light asked timidly as he harshly rubbed his chocolate orbs.

The Egyptian instantly nodded and took Ryou's hand leading him inside and shutting the door behind him.

"This way," the blonde mused as he led the other light through the hallway into the living room and sitting him down on the couch.

"Ryou, what's wrong?"

* * *

**Ba dum tish! Heheh hoped you like it my happy-chans, and sorry again for the lateness of updating... And so you know, theres about 5 or 6 chapters left of this fic, that is if I go with the first plot I made, but if I go with the second, there's about 8-9 chapters... So tell me which one you want, longer or shorter... You decide! Heheh**

**R&R**

**S4K**


	8. Memories

**Hey happy-chans, sorry I was longer on updating... My apologies...**

**Anywho, chapter 8 is up and here! Hope you like it, and a word of adivce... Prepare yourself when you start reading... You'll find out why when _you _find out ::wink::**

* * *

**eight: Memories**

"Shhhh..." The blonde-headed Egyptian cooed as he hugged Ryou close, rocking soothingly back and forth as the other light cried into his chest, clinging to him like a lost child.

Ryou cried and cried into his friend's shirt, holding onto him tightly with his eyes clamped shut.

"Ryou... Ry-chan you have to stop crying... Tell me what's wrong," Malik said softly, lightly caressing said others back to calm him.

The cotton-haired light nodded softly, muttering an apology as he pulled back from the comforting embrace.

"You don't need to apologise for anything Ry-kun, now," Malik started, wiping away tears from Ryou's cheeks, "Tell me what all this is about."

The hikari nodded, harshly rubbing his eyes before he spoke. "Ba... Bakura... He, he said so many things..." he said softly, replaying his Yami's words through his mind.

Malik's eyebrows furrowed slightly as he let out a sigh, "What did he say? Start from the beginning Ryou, else I can't help you..."

The other nodded his head, stray pieces of platinum hair falling forward. "I, I asked Bakura why he didn't tell me about... Marik, sooner. He told me he was protecting me from him because Marik said if he told anyone, he'd hurt them..." Ryou explained, wiping his tearing eyes. "I, I didn't believe him at first and something triggered inside him when I called him heartless..." he trailed off slightly, glancing at Malik who was listening with his up most attention. Sighing deeply, Ryou continued. "Bakura... He sort of snapped... Telling me to stop calling him heartless and cold. Asking how I would know... Then..."

"Then what Ryou? Tell me exactly what Bakura said," Malik said kindly, lightly running his hand down Ryou's arm in a comforting way.

"He said... 'How would you know that I was acting like I hated you so Marik wouldn't bother hurting you because he thought I didn't care less about you? How would you know that I feel more and more like... Shit... After every day from what I've done to you? And... Hikari, how would you know that I wish every, damn day I could take it all back?" Ryou repeated to Malik, word for word as he saw the images of his other Yami blurting out the words to him, and it simply caused more tears to gather in his puffing eyes.

Malik bit his lip slightly as he listened, and seeing more tears in his friend's eyes, the blonde pulled him back into a hug, lightly kissing his cheek.

The hikari grasped onto Malik, letting the tears fall from his eyes, stifled moans of sadness escaping him

"Then... Then he said... I was too wrapped up in how... I was feeling to so I didn't know that he loved me," Ryou cried out, burying his head in deeper in the crook of Malik's neck.

The Egyptian rocked lightly back and forth, "Shhh... Ryou let it out..." he cooed, feeling tears streak down his neck.

"Why? Why Malik... Why didn't he tell me about Marik... He didn't trust me!" the light whimpered softly.

"Shh... Ryou he does trust you. He just didn't want you to get hurt that's all. He was protecting you from my Yami."

Ryou sighed huskily, sniffling softly, clinging to Malik tighter.

"Ryou... Is there anything else that happened?" Malik asked, feeling the hikari tense in his arms. 

The light nodded slightly, barely moving at all.

"Ryou, tell me what it is," the blonde said softly, lightly lifting said others chin so their eyes met.

Chocolate depths blinked slowly before opening to stare back up at Malik, "We... Kissed," he said ever so softly.

"What?" the Egyptian questioned as if in disbelief.

Ryou pulled away from the hug, acting as if he was ashamed, "Kissed..." he repeated.

"I, thought you were arguing, how did you end up... Kissing?"

"I don't know... It all stopped so suddenly, something... Clicked... And I kept saying I was sorry to Bakura, he hugged me... Then it happened," the hikari said quietly, "... I ran away from it..." he added with a heavy sigh. 

"You ran? Ryou, why, I thought you liked Bakura," Malik questioned, confused to why Ryou had done what he did.

"I was scared... I though Bakura could show nothing but hate... Yet, when he kissed me, I felt... So much more," Ryou whispered as off in a world of his own.

The Egyptian sighed, running his hand back through his hair as he thought about what he had just found out. _They kissed? _The blonde thought silently to himself, _why did Ryou run away? Bakura... Must be so... Hurt right now..._

"Ryou?" Malik asked softly.

"Hmm?" said light replied, rubbing his eyes with his wrist.

"Why did you think Bakura could show nothing but hate?"

"I... It was the only thing he mostly showed when I was around... And when Marik was around, he was... Cruel," Ryou replied, head low.

"Ryou... Your Yami is anything but cruel. What he went through when my Yami was around, is just... Something any of us wouldn't be able to cope with, but he took it head on," Malik said with a soft sigh.

"What... Exactly did Marik do to Bakura, Malik?" the cotton-haired teen asked, looking directly at the Egyptian.

"Are you sure you want to know?"

Ryou nodded, Malik sighed.

"Don't tell Bakura I'm the one who told you... You're bound to find out sooner or later..." Malik took in a deep breath before he began, "Because I was trapped, pretty much in my own mind when Marik took over. I knew exactly what _he _was doing, so I knew all that he was doing to Bakura. I just happened to see the worst thing my Yami did, I used what little power I had over Anzu to just... Take a look at what was going on when I found out Bakura was with him. When I saw it, I could've just broke down there and then..." the blonde trailed off, the corner of his eyes shimmering, clear that tears had began to gather, yet Malik refused to let them fall. "It was the first time I'd seen your Yami cry Ryou, and the first time I heard him scream out for help..."

Ryou's eyes instantly widened with horror as he waited, dreading to hear what Malik was about to say.

"Marik... Raped him..." Malik muttered, his voice barely heard.

"No..." Ryou gasped, hand slapping against his mouth as more tears gathered in his eyes, "No... No Malik you're lying... Bakura wouldn't let that happen to him, he's too strong..."

"I'm not lying Ryou, you know I'm not. You've seen it yourself, the scars on his back, those were from Marik pinning him down so roughly. What my Yami did was true Ryou, though I wish every damn day it wasn't," Malik stated, his eyes narrowing slightly, a single tear falling from his lavender eyes.

* * *

His eyes still gazed out of the window, cheeks stained with dry tear tracks that once twisted down his pale skin. He leaned forward slightly with his forehead resting against the freezing glass. _I wonder where he's gone... _Bakura thought silently to himself as he lazily traced circles with his finger on the window. _He might have gone to Malik... But they haven't spoke in a while, maybe Pharaoh's little hikari... They seem to get along... _he let his thoughts wander as he contemplated where his other half might be, eventually settling on Malik as Ryou knew he didn't approve of Yami and Yugi. _Why did you run hikari? I thought you loved me back... Obviously not..._

**_FLASHBAK_**

"NO! No stop it!" he shouted out as hands were tugged violently behind his back, "Fuck off! Stop it! Please!"

His cruel, nasty, outrageously bitter laughter sounded as he pinned down Bakura's hands on his back, dragging his head up by the back of his hair.

"You better behave..." he hissed sinisterly.

Kicking and yelling, the white-haired Yami tried desperately to get the psychotic Egyptian off of him, but to no avail, his mind only filled with pure panic as he felt cold hands run down the back of his legs.

**_FLASHBACK FINISH_**

Growling lightly to himself Bakura lifted his head back from the glass; cursing himself for letting his thoughts remember such things, such weakness.

"This is all your fault..." he muttered to himself, sliding his hand down the window pane before stepping back, only to bump into something at his ankles.

Eyes averted down to the floor, to see the tabby cat looking up at the spirit with big green eyes.

"Tch... What do you want?"

The feline simply meowed softly, rubbing and curling round the Albino's ankles before he bent down and picked the cat up on his shoulder.

Bakura rolled his eyes when the feline in his hold began to purr loudly rubbing on the side of his neck with it's face, much to the fiends annoyance. His hand slowly moved down the cat's body, lightly stroking his fur when suddenly the tabby clawed onto Bakura's shoulder, causing him to hiss.

**_FLASHBACK_**

Brilliant white fangs dug deep into the junction of Bakura's neck and shoulder, causing him to whimper silently in pain as well as putting his struggling to an end.

A smirk graced his lips when the platinum-haired Yami beneath him ceased to struggle and he removed his mouth from his skin, licking his lips of the blood that was drawn, and that was now trickling down Bakura's shoulder.

Immense pain suddenly shot through Bakura's lower body, hands gripping the sheets at the side of his head until the pain grew even more, just as fast as it came, and the Yami screamed out in pain, as well as for help.

_**FLASHBACK FINISH**_

Biting his lip, Bakura slumped his shoulder and the tabby instantly jumped down from him and ran out of the room. His hand slid up to his shoulder, lightly pressing his hand to his skin as his chocolate depths saddened. _Why am I remembering all this? I haven't even thought about it in this past year...Why now? _Bakura asked himself as he let his arm fall to his side.

* * *

The two hugged one another, sitting in nothing but a dead silence that engulfed them both.

_I can't believe it... Bakura's so strong, brave... I didn't think he'd ever let something like that happen to him. Yet it did. I was so nasty to him, being so cruel by saying the things I did, and all this time... That had happened, and I had no clue...He could've been thinking about it all the time, constantly in pain... _Ryou thought to himself, swallowing hard as he clung to Malik tighter, his body trembling.

The Egyptian felt the teen in his arms cling to him and he began to get worried. _I shouldn't have told him, if Bakura finds out he'll hate me... He probably kept it from Ryou for a reason... _

Sighing softly to himself, Malik pulled back slightly, "Ryou... I have to go to the bathroom, sorry... I'll be right back," he said, receiving a weak nod in response before getting up and heading down the hallway, eventually coming to the phone he picked it up and dialled.

* * *

A faint ring could be heard coming from downstairs, causing Bakura to look up from his hands.

"Tch... Stupid phone..." the spirit mumbled as he got up and quickly went downstairs to answer.

"What?"

"Hello to you too Kura," Malik's voice said from the other end.

"Malik?"

"Yeah."

"Why are you whispering?" the Yami asked.

"I just am. Anyway, Ryou's here I think you should take him home... He's pretty shaken up," Malik said softly, his voice saddening.

"What? Why, what's happened?" Bakura asked.

"Look, we can talk when you get here just come and get him all right... He really needs you," the blonde replied.

"All right, I'm on my way..."

"Ok... Bye..."

The soft click echoed down the receiver as Malik hung up first before Bakura grabbed his jacket and heading out.

* * *

The blonde sighed heavily, leaning back against the hallway wall as he ran a hand through his hair. _I can't cope with this all over again... _he thought to himself as he got up and started back down the corridor.

Malik walked into the living room to see Ryou curled up on the couch, head buried in his knees, still crying. _It isn't right to cry for this long... What's going through his head? _He thought as he went over to Ryou, pulling him into an embrace not long before a knock at the door was heard.

* * *

**Hmm... Yeah... Hoped you liked it happy-chans...**

**And I must ask you all a favour! Please, if you leave a review, pretty, pretty please put a number 1 or 2 at the end of your review. I seriously can't pick which plot to go with, and the next chapter can go either way... So please, just pick randomly if you do...**

**This fic will either stay a romance/angst or it will turn to a romance/tradgedy... **

**R&R  
  
S4K**


	9. Liar

* * *

**Hmm... With all the reviews, I've finally come to a plot conclusion:**

**I'll stick with keeping it angst and not tradgedy, but I'll go with the longer version because I've kind of merged plots together to keep it going like this...**

**So, hope everyone's all right with that, and just for the heck of knowing. If the tradgedy plot was chosen, a certain Egyptian Yami would've returned, yet... Something else is on it's way seen as it is an angst fic ::wink wink hint hint::**

**Anywho... 9th chapter here for you happy-chans, nice and quick and seen as I'm ill and off school, got nothing else to do XD**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**nine: Liar**

Rain outside was pounding against the window of the living room, a bright flash of lightning and Ryou jerked his head from Malik's chest when he heard the knock at the door, "Wh... Who's that?" he questioned looking at the blonde.

"I'll, go and see," Malik said in a muffled voice as he stood up. _That was quick Kura..._ the Egyptian thought to himself as he made his way down the hall, flicking the patio light on as he opened the front door to see a soaked Bakura, shoulders hunched and water dripping from his hair and lashes. 

"Can I come in or am I staying out here?" Bakura said, clicking Malik out of his thoughts.

"Uh, sorry... Yeah, come in quick," the blonde motioned his hand for the Yami to follow him inside, where he took off his coat and hung it up to dry. 

"Wh-"

"He's in there," Malik whispered, answering the obvious question the spirit was about to ask. 

"Thanks..." Bakura replied with a soft, small smile.

Walking down the hall, the drenched spirit silently entered the living room to see his other half curled up on the couch, his body shaking from crying. Bakura stayed in the doorway for a moment, just watching his other half to see that Ryou's eyes were locked on the window. His stare narrowed slightly and he stepped back, turning to Malik behind him, "Why didn't you shut the curtains? You know Ryou's afraid of storms," he hissed in a whisper.

"Sorry..." Malik whispered back apologetically.

Rolling his eyes Bakura stepped into the living room, walking to the window and reaching out to pull the curtains across just when a very loud crash of lightning echoed and flashed.

A yelp of shock escaped Ryou when he realised someone was at the window and from the shock of the loud crack. His eyes clamped shut, hugging his knees tighter as the curtains were drawn.

"Ryou..." Malik ushered softly, going over to said teen.

The hikari whimpered softly in reply.

"Bakura's here..."

Chocolate depths instantly snapped open at the name, locking onto Bakura who was leaning against the opposite wall to the couch, his soaked hair still as perfect as ever, yet duller from the damp.

Ryou stared at his other half for a moment, his eyes merging with darker versions of his own, getting lost in the stare like he always did.

Silently getting to his feet, the hikari slowly walked towards Bakura, neither saying a word yet both knew what was happening. The Yami stepped forward, making the first move by pulling his light into a hug.

"Oh Bakura..." Ryou cried, wrapping his arms round Bakura's neck his hands brushing against the scratch that was now there from the earlier incident with the cat.

_**FLASHBACK**_

"Oh Bakura," his voice rang through said others ears, mockingly, "I suggest you do as told."

The white-haired Yami gulped, backing against the wall of Marik's room on the Battle City blimp.

"You'll do what I say Thief," the Egyptian mused, getting uncomfortably close to Bakura, "...Unless of course, you want that hikari of yours to pay," he added with a sinister chuckle causing brown depths to widen.

**_FLASHBACK FINISH_**

Bakura hissed slightly pushing back from Ryou, his breathing suddenly irregular and eyes wide.

"B... Bakura..." Ryou muttered, his voice hurt and confused to why his Yami had pushed him away.

"Bakura, what's wrong?" Malik asked with a concerned tone.

The white-haired teen just stood and stared at his Yami, did he hate him that much he wouldn't even hug him? No. It couldn't be that, could it? Ryou's eyes saddened as he sat back down on the couch, keeping his tearful eyes low and fixed to the ground as if he was ashamed of everything.

"Kura, what's the matter?" Malik asked, determined to get an answer from his friend.

"Nothing..." the Yami replied, rubbing his temples.

"You hate me now don't you Bakura-sama?" Ryou stated bluntly and suddenly.

Bakura's eyes narrowed at the name. His light hadn't called him that in years not since he was made to when the spirit hurt him. Why would he suddenly call him it now?

"Bakura, Ryou... And no... I don't," the fiend replied with a husky tone, and Ryou instantly picked it up, as well as Malik.

"Then why did you push me away?" Ryou asked, looking up at Bakura with dull eyes.

"Because I did..."

Malik looked from one to the other, already sensing the tension between the two Albinos' and he was starting to get very worried.

"Because what?"

"Just because, you don't need to know hikari," Bakura stated.

"Yes I do. Don't you think you've kept enough from me already?" Ryou asked, emotionlessly.

The spirits eyes widened slightly at the statement and he suddenly began to feel guilty.

"What did Marik do to you Yami?" Ryou asked, still gazing into the dark's depths.

Malik's stare shot towards Ryou, his worry growing even more.

"You know the answer to that," Bakura said, not wanting to talk about such things, especially seen as _that _just happened.

"No I don't. Tell me, please," the hikari asked, his voice timid.

"You do, you've seen the scars hikari. You know _he_... H-hurt me."

"And he, took something... Didn't he?" Ryou asked.

Bakura's eyes widened as he knew straight away that his lighter half now knew the whole story, _Malik... _he thought with a snarl.

"Malik... You've told him?" Bakura asked.

"Well... I you se-"

"Yes he did," Ryou interrupted, his eyes glazed over from the tears.

"Malik! How dare you! It was NOT your place to tell him something like that!" Bakura snapped bitterly.

"Bakura... I... I'm sorry," the blonde muttered. "Sorry?! You swore to me you'd NEVER tell a damn soul about that! Then you go and tell Ryou!" 

"Kura please... Ryou, he asked, he was so sad and confused... I had to tell him to make him understand..." Malik said, keeping his voice low, fighting back threatening tears.

"Understand? Understand what?!" 

"That you're not heartless and you can show more than hate," Ryou said quietly, averting his eyes back to the floor, "I'm sorry Yami... All those times I called you cold and evil... All those times I yelled at you for not letting me get close to you, all the while... Were you thinking about that?"

Bakura's sudden rage vanished as quickly as it came as he listened to Ryou. His lights words ringing through him like a gently melody and he simply nodded in reply.

Ryou stood up and reached out to Bakura, Malik instantly trying to stop him but was too late and Bakura flinched, backing away from the out stretched hand.

"You still don't trust me?" Ryou asked, letting his arm fall to his side.

"Ryou, it'll take time. Bakura does trust you," Malik insisted, trying to keep everyone calm.

"Malik's right hikari... I, I have to get used to it..." Bakura muttered.

"What? Used to me?" Ryou asked, hurt clearly in his voice. 

Bakura cringed at the question, and it only made it worse that the answer was so obvious. He nodded.

Ryou bit his lip slightly when it started to softly tremble, his eyes closing from the sound of lightning and thunder outside, but he shrugged off his fear and sat back down on the couch, head in his hands.

"It doesn't mean I won't in time Ryou," Bakura said, sensing Ryou was very hurt, and Malik nodded in addition.

"You should have just told me in the first place Bakura, then all of this wouldn't have happened," Ryou said, looking back up at said spirit.

"I would've if I could Ryou and you know that already," the Albino replied.

"I know why you didn't... What I want to know is why you didn't anyway... You said you were protecting me because you cared, if you cared so much then why didn't you risk it and tell me?" Ryou asked, eyes still locked on Bakura.

The dark blinked a few times, frozen by Ryou's words.

"You say you were protecting me by not telling me, you say you were protecting me by causing me pain... But you weren't Yami... You weren't protecting me at all..." Ryou rubbed his eyes of the fresh falling tears, "... You only hurt me more."

Bakura's mouth fell open slightly to speak, but no words could get through. Ryou was right. Everything his light had just said was nothing but the truth. Hiding his feelings, not telling the truth from the start caused his light more pain his bare hands could ever do. And all that time, he was completely clueless; carrying on like it was the best thing to be doing. How wrong could he get?

"Ryou I..."

"You're a liar," the light stated bluntly, his voice shaking from crying.

"What?" Malik asked, shocked from Ryou's sudden comment.

"You're a liar. For the past year and a half you've been lying to me Bakura. All those times when you hurt me and made me cry you could've ended it all by just spilling the truth to me. But you decided not to," Ryou said, his voice getting harsher as he spoke. "Instead, you decided to keep hurting me thinking it was making everything all right! Why Yami? Why? Why did you think causing me pain would make it all better?!" the light's voice suddenly rose, lower lip trembling.

"I don't know all right!" Bakura snapped back, his mind plagued with too many thoughts.

"You never do!" Ryou yelled back, slamming his fists down on the couch.

"Ryou, Bakura please..." Malik pleaded, yet he went unheard.

"I know THAT Ryou! You keep telling me! I'm sorry all right! I'm FUCKING sorry! How many times do I have to tell you that?! You know what happened, you know why I did the things I did so why can't you just understand and forget about it?!"

"Forget about it?! Bakura! How the hell am I supposed to forget?! All of this is caused my you and your DAMN pride!" Ryou shouted.

"My pride has nothing to do with this hikari! I thought I was doing the right thing by not telling you!" Bakura sneered nastily.

Malik watched on helplessly. He had witnessed the two fighting before, but never this bad, and he hated seeing _him _so stressed and upset, yet there was nothing he could do about it.

"Oh really?! If it wasn't your pride then what was stopping you Bakura? What was stopping you from telling me?" Ryou asked.

"You were!" the Yami yelled at his other half.

"M-me?" he muttered, shocked by the answer.

"Yes you! Ryou you need to stop assuming things about me, and you need to stop now! You're meant to be my hikari y-"

"What's that meant to mean?!" the teen suddenly snapped, hurt by Bakura's comment.

"You're the one who's meant to understand me the most Ryou, you're my other half for fuck sake! Yet you're the one who hasn't the slightest clue!" Bakura blurted out, not really knowing what he was saying, and how harshly he was saying it until it had already sunk in.

_Damn my temper... _Bakura thought, suddenly going silent.

"Ryou... Bakura, maybe you two sh-"

"Malik can I stay here for tonight?" Ryou suddenly asked, though his eyes were glaring deep into the dull pools of Bakura's eyes.

"What?" the two said in union.

"Can... I please stay here tonight Malik?" Ryou asked again.

"Ryou, you're coming home," Bakura stated.

"No I'm not... Not with a Yami who doesn't even appreciate I'm their hikari!" Ryou snapped back.

"Fine! Stay here for all I care! Don't come back and see if I give a shit!" Bakura yelled at Ryou getting up from the wall he was leaning against.

"Bakura where are you going?" Malik asked, quickly getting up and following said Yami out of the room and down the hall.

Bakura suddenly stopped, turning on his heels causing the blonde to bump into him.

"Sorry..." Malik muttered.

"Keep him here for a while all right?" Bakura said, his voice calming yet it was obvious he wasn't at all in a good mood.

Malik nodded.

Bakura sighed; biting his lip as if he was struggling to say something but the silence remained and he took his still soaked jacket, pulling it on and stepping out into the stormy street.

_Don't give up Bakura... _Malik thought silently to himself as he shut the door.

* * *

**9th chapter done and dusted! Mwaha!**

**Now my happy-chans, I left two tiny hints in this chapter about something, anyone pick up on them? If not, you'll realise when it all happens ne? XD**

**R&R**

**S4K**


	10. Stigmatized

**Hiya happy-chans, sorry about the later update... I re-wrote this chapter cause I totally screwed up the first attmept... But, the 10th is finally here.**

**In reply to the review from **Yamiyugichick** : The song in chapter 4 was 'Long Way Down' by the GooGoo Dolls.**

**Oh, and guys... This chapter is the start of the plot you lot chose, and you'll all find out why this fic is an angst... ::wink::  
Enjoy! (And I don't own the song 'Stigmatized' by The Calling... Thought it fitted in quite nicely...)**

* * *

**ten: Stigmatized**

The wind screamed through the streets, blowing back the Yami's jacket as he walked along the sidewalk, getting utterly soaked. Bakura kept his head low, acting as if he didn't care that the rain was beating hard against him, making his platinum hair cling to his neck and face. Nothing could bother him right now; he only had one thing on his mind.

Ryou.

How could he leave him back there with Malik? He trusted the Egyptian to look after him, but he couldn't stand being away from his light, and they hadn't been separated for a long, long time. The spirit regretted almost every word he said to Ryou back at Malik's, how could he be so cruel? Saying things like 'you're meant to be my hikari,' he knew now that saying something like that was totally uncalled for, it must have hurt Ryou so much and he hated himself for not realising that before he said it. Once again, and like always, he'd let his anger take control of him.

Eventually coming to his street, Bakura finally began to walk quickly to get inside as he started to feel the cold of the storm that had now drenched him thoroughly. Rummaging in his pockets to unlock the front door, the Yami soon realised he didn't have his keys.

"Shit..." Bakura muttered to himself. 

He was in such a rush to leave, he didn't even bother picking them up. Sighing heavily Bakura walked round to the side of the house, easily climbing over the back gate and jumping down into the back yard. Bakura walked round to the kitchen window and pushed it open; thankful it was left open as he had a tendency to lock himself out. With a swift movement, Bakura pulled himself up through the window, shutting it behind him and locking it. The Yami sighed and slid down from the kitchen surface, sighing again when he saw the trail of puddles he'd left.

Taking off his ringing wet jacket, Bakura hung it over the radiator in the hallway to dry before pulling off his shirt and tossing it in the dirty washing basket, whilst grabbing a towel which he used to rub his hair dry.

Finally dry, Bakura went into the living room and flopped down on the couch, utterly exhausted. Running his hand back through his hair the Yami glanced at the clock to see it was still rather early in the morning. Rolling his eyes the spirit let his head fall back on the couch, his eyes lightly closing.

* * *

His head was buried in the Egyptian's chest tears rolling from his chocolate depths and staining his pale cheeks with tiny trails of water.

"Shh... Ryou... Everything will be all right," Malik cooed, nuzzling into the hikari's hair in a comforting manner.

"No it won't... You heard him... He said don't come back!" Ryou cried, clinging to Malik as if his life depended on it. 

"He was mad Ryou. He didn't mean it."

"Yes he did... I know he did. The way he looked at me, I could tell he hated me so much," Ryou whispered, the tears rolling from his cheeks onto Malik's shirt.

"I know for a fact Bakura doesn't hate you Ryou. If he did, then why would he come here for you?" Malik asked, trying to reassure the hikari as much as he could.

"I don't know... He might have cared then, but he doesn't anymore. I know... I can feel it..."

* * *

_Is this ever going to work out? _Bakura thought to himself, _all this has happened, we've both said things we mean and don't mean... But it still hasn't gotten any better... Only worse._

The spirit sighed as he ran his hands through his hair, and still feeling the wetness of the rain he got up to go to the bathroom and collect a towel.

Dragging his hand up the banister, Bakura eventually came to the bathroom door and clicked it open, stepping inside. Taking in a light breath, the platinum-haired spirit shuffled over towards the hanger to grab a towel, but the stopped half way at the basin. His eyes trailed up to the mirror above the sink, gazing at his reflection as if he was staring himself out.

"Such a baka..." he muttered to himself, glancing down at the sink before him, before turning to the small CD Player that was perched on top of the cabinet. Clicking the play button, and not knowing which CD was inside, he stayed still, waiting for the song to start.

_"If I give up on you I give up on me__  
__If we fight what's true, will we ever be__  
__Even if God himself and the faith I knew__  
__Shouldn't hold me back, shouldn't keep me from you"_

Smiling softly at the sound of one of his favourite songs he glanced back at the mirror, his smile suddenly fading.

Ryou.

He could see his other half in himself, gazing back at him with those perfect eyes that shone none stop, those lips that graced the sweetest of sweet smiles and he saw them in himself. But why? He looked nothing like Ryou yet his light was before him, gawping as if in curiosity. He was nothing like Ryou, and he never would be. How could _he _be so angelic, so kind and sweet? It was simply impossible for such a tainted being to suddenly change into the purest thing there was and to know nothing but good. To actually be able to show emotion and love, and not fear it couldn't happen... It would never happen.

_"Tease me, by holding out your hand__  
__Then leave me, or take me as I am__  
__And live our lives, stigmatized"_

Bakura bit his lip slightly his eyes averting down back to the sink where he saw two razor blades. Simply lying there.

* * *

"How can you feel it?" Malik asked, though he knew it was a stupid question. Ryou was a hikari, like he was, being able to feel what your other half felt was a simple task. But he wanted to keep the lights mind as far away from Bakura and what had happened as much as he could.

Ryou sighed, "You know very well how Malik..." he said softly, harshly rubbing his eyes as he pulled out from the hug, instead hugging himself.

"Ryou... Are you-"

"Ok? No..." the light interrupted, his eyes dull and lifeless as he stared at the floor.

"What's wrong?" Malik asked.

"Something's wrong. I feel so confused, but I know it's not me. It's Bakura... I've never felt like this before, usually I know what he's thinking... But now... It's all just a blur," the light said in a soft tone, keeping his eyes fixed to the ground.

"He's probably got a lot on his mind that's all. After all that's happened between you guys, I wouldn't be surprised if he was confused, and if his thoughts were a blur," the blonde said in a reassuring tone.

Ryou nodded, "I suppose..."

* * *

_"I can feel the blood rushing through my veins__  
__When I hear your voice, driving me insane__  
__Hour after hour day after day__  
__Every lonely night that I sit and pray"_

The spirit stood and stared at the blades on the side of the sink, not being able to take his eyes from the shimmering metal. It looked so inviting, just laying there, the sharpness of each blade clearly visible. And how much he wanted them just to...

"No..." Bakura muttered, cutting off his thoughts, "I'm not that weak..." he added gazing back into the mirror, his breathing suddenly heavier than before.

The Yami's eyes met with his own, staring back at himself as if he was looking at a stranger. _But maybe... _he thought, glancing back down at the shimmering silver, the words of the song echoing through his mind.

_"Tease me, by holding out your hand__  
__Then leave me, or take me as I am__  
__And live our lives, stigmatized"_

_Maybe if I wasn't here... Everyone would be better off... _Bakura thought silently. It was true to him, so true, it was painfully obvious to him. Malik wouldn't have to listen to him all the time whenever he screwed something up, and he'd be free to do what he pleases on a Friday night instead of going out with him all the time. And Ryou. No longer having to put up with the constant harshness of the Yami, not having to live in fear and dread, just waiting for the next time his spirit would flip and hurt him. But what Bakura cared about the most, was his light would be... Happy, even if it was without him.

_"We live our lives on different sides,__  
__But we keep together you and I__  
__Just live our lives, stigmatized__  
__We'll live our lives, we'll take the punches every day__  
__We'll live our lives I know we're gonna find our way"_

Ryou would be free. No longer kept in chains by his other half, he'd be open to love anyone he wanted, go anywhere he pleased and never having to make sure he was ok with it.

Sighing to himself he turned on his heels and went through the door into the bedroom, taking a random piece of paper and a pencil he laid it out on the small bedside table and started writing.

After around ten minutes, Bakura threw the pencil to the side and took the paper in his hand and went back into the bathroom, straight away going to the sink and grasping one of the blades.

_"I believe in you__  
__Even if no one understands__  
__I believe in you, and I don't really give a damn__  
__If we're stigmatized"_

* * *

"But it's never happened before. No matter how mad he was, his head was always clear," Ryou said in a whisper, "I'm worried Malik..."

"Shhh..." Malik cooed softly, opening his arms when Ryou leaned over into a hug. _I am too, _the blonde thought to himself as he cradled the crying light in his arms.

Ryou held onto Malik tight, his hands grasping the Egyptian's shirt tightly. Why had he stayed here? Everything could have been sorted out if he hadn't assumed all of those things about Bakura, and he'd be in the arms of the one he yearned for so much, instead of just a friend. _Why isn't anything getting better? We've said so many things... Yet nothing's changed, why can't I just be like him... Always knowing what you want... Not letting anything stop you...I just want it all to end... _the light thought silently, not realising how much he _was _like Bakura, in every single way.

* * *

_"We live our lives on different sides__  
__But we keep together you and I__  
__We live our loves on different sides,__  
__We're gonna live our lives"_

Sitting down against the wall after he'd locked the door, Bakura put the piece of paper down beside him, resting his head back against the wall.

The Yami started to feel hot; the adrenalin from the thoughts of what he was going to do started to build up more and more. He twisted the blade between two fingers, feeling the perfectly sharp edge as it moved. Yet it puzzled him, something to small could put a stop to everything, something so small could end all problems. He blinked slowly as he felt wetness on his eyes, and he quickly realised tears were forming in his chocolate depths, slowly trickling down his cheeks yet again. Though it was different this time, he didn't care he was crying, and he knew why he was. The pure fear of the pain he'd be putting himself through scared him. No. It terrified him. Bakura had felt pain before; he'd felt agony and he'd took it all head on without ever giving up. But he feared this pain with all he had. The fear of death. To know his eyes would never open, to know his voice would never sound, to know his mind would never think petrified the spirit dearly. But he knew it was the only way, he'd be making others happy, as well as himself. He'd no longer have to go through the torture of love. He'd never have to feel the misery to know he'd hurt someone he cared about so, so much. That took some of the pain and dread away; knowing that the person you loved with every ounce of heart you had was going to be happy... And free.

_"Gotta live our lives__  
__We're gonna live our lives__  
__We're gonna live our lives, Gonna live our lives, _

_Stigmatized..."_

He was so sad, so afraid, so happy...

Bakura grasped the blade harder, put it to his wrist, and cut.

* * *

**::nervous laugh:: I just couldn't resist making it a cliffy... And... Yeah... Poor Kura ne...**

**R&R!  
  
S4K**


	11. Shock

* * *

**Oh my GOD! You all have my persmisson to kick me...**

**I am so, so, so, so sorry for taking this long to update. I didn't even realise it had been so long! I don't have an excuse, just pure laziness... It will NOT happen again!**

**So, with my deepest apologies, I give you...**

* * *

**eleven: Shock**

The night outside was still raging as much as it was earlier, not looking as if it was getting any slower or letting up in anyway. The wind still screamed, wrapping around the trees that scattered the streets, and a constant drum of rain hit every window of every house, forming tiny rivers that streamed down the road and sidewalk.

_I'm so weak... I've let myself stoop down to this level. Something I thought I'd never do, it seems the thief inside me still burns as strong as ever... _Bakura thought to himself, hissing from the pain that was shooting through his sliced wrist. _Why did it have to end this way? I never thought... My demise would be at my own hands..._

Taking in a short breath, Bakura lifted his head and rested it back against the wall. Why had he done this? It hurt so much to know his life was slowly slipping away from him as if being violently, yet teasingly snatched away from his reaching grasp. And how he hated it. The fear still plagued him, the pain still haunted him and the sorrow still held him. To know he was slowly slipping away, and the thought that each breath could be his last, burned the Yami deeply.

His eyes saddened as he clutched the paper in his hand, the other free hand lying limp at his side as the crimson liquid spilled from within. Looking around the bathroom, he began to remember things he never thought he'd think of again, or that were long forgotten. The Yami saw memories, not like the ones that corrupted and stained his mind, the sort of memories he loved, the ones he cherished. A certain one that did make him smile slightly was when he thought about the night he and Ryou spent all night watching nothing but scary movies, wrapped up in a huge blanket on the couch and cuddled together. He could still feel the sensation of his other half pressed so tightly to him, and even though it was from the fear of the movie they were watching, he loved to know that Ryou had turned to him, and trusted him for protection. Bakura blinked, tears ever so slowly rolling from his deep, dull depths and streaking his cheeks with dampness as he kept the feeling of Ryou in his arm locked tight in his mind, to rid himself of the agonising pain that was racing through him. How much he wanted to be with his light at that moment was beyond words, he just wanted him... He needed him.

* * *

Ryou frowned slightly as he concentrated hard on his thoughts, as well as Bakura's. Why could he feel such pain, such hurt and sorrow? He'd never felt something this strong from his other half before so he was new to the feeling, but he knew it was there. He could tell. Bakura was in pain, whether or not it was physically or mentally he didn't know.

Still in the arms of Malik, the cotton-haired teen slowly blinked away the tears that lingered at his lashes, as his tears had finally come to a halt but the stinging pain from shedding so many tears still gripped him.

"Malik..." Ryou started in a muffled tone.

"Yes?" said Egyptian replied instantly.

"Have you ever felt... Confused about, well... When Marik was around, did you ever feel confused about his feelings?" the white-haired teen asked.

"Why? Are you feeling that way?" Malik asked, not really wishing to talk about his Yami at that moment.

"Yes..." Ryou muttered in reply, sighing at length.

"Want to tell me exactly how you feel?" the blonde asked.

"That's the thing... I don't, know. It's so strange..." Ryou said softly as he nuzzled further into Malik's shirt, very grateful for the comfort. "All I can sense is... Pain. But, it isn't like I've felt before. I think, well... It seems like it isn't physical..."

"After going through all of this, doing all he's done and getting no where, wouldn't you be hurting inside too Ryou?" Malik asked, his eyes looking down at the angel in his arms.

Ryou opened his mouth to reply, but not a sound came out. Malik was so true. He finally thought about it. How could he have doubted Bakura the way he did? All this time it was staring him straight in the face and only now had he noticed those glaring eyes.

His Yami did care.

The light had never stopped to think about it, but Malik's words instantly soaked in. Even if he just thought about tonight, all that's happened, all that Bakura has done, the things that have driven them further apart, he still came. Through out everything that had gone on, the pain, the hurt and the agony... Bakura was always there trying his very hardest to make it work in his own... Weird, way.

The hikari felt his eyes soften the more he thought about it, his grip on the blonde lightly loosening.

"Why didn't I see it before?" Ryou asked out loud.

"Excuse me?" Malik asked when he heard the hikari speak. 

The platinum-haired teen got up out of Malik's comforting hold and sat up straight. "Malik..." he started, his eyes rising to meet said others, "Thank you..." the light stated in a whisper, and for the first time Malik could remember, Ryou smiled softly before getting up and heading down the hallway, followed by the sound of the raging weather outside as the front door opened and closed with a bang.

* * *

Excruciating pain still ran through the white-haired Albino as he sat back against the wall, the tears from his eyes still falling as he clutched the paper in his other hand.

Crimson liquid still ran from the clean slash in his wrist, seeping to the floor and forming a tiny river of red that stretched across the floor. The Yami's eyes began to get heavy as his head drooped down so his chin was at his chest. Despite the pain and darkness that was trying horribly to take him, Bakura managed to cling to consciousness as much as he could, keeping nothing but Ryou in his mind.

How glad he was that his other half wasn't there to see him in such a state. To see him looking utterly helpless and weak would kill him even if this didn't. And the fact he was crying only made it worse.

It still haunted the spirit that he was slowly slipping away from reality. And though he was thankful for getting away from everything, a huge, violent storm of regret held him. He didn't want to die; he didn't want to close his eyes never to open them again. He wanted to live. Live along side the one he loves so much, a smile always across his lips. Yet he knew, it would never happen.

Just a fantasy.

Just a dream.

Never real.

All the happy things that ever happened to the Yami were always in his head. Sure he did have memories with Ryou, but they never lasted long enough to be classed as pure happiness.

What the spirit would give to make just one of those so-called dreams come true. To spend a day, or maybe even two if he was lucky, with no one but Ryou. Just the two of them together with no interruptions from any of his friends or Malik. Nothing but Ryou, himself and the world. He'd give anything for that, he'd give his soul, his heart, his life... Anything. Just to have the one he loves with every ounce of his heart to himself.

But now, Bakura is giving his life. Whether it's for himself or for Ryou, he knew his light would be better off without him. Ryou can spend those days in the arms of someone who'll treat him right, and not put him through the pure hell he as. And even if he had to watch his light's heart being won by someone else from the sidelines, he'd be happy to just see the hikari smile. To see him without a care in the world would bring the happiness the Yami desired so much.

To see him the way he was.

* * *

"Ryou?! Where are you going?!" Malik called after the hikari, instantly getting up and going after the light.

Out on the streets, the rain bounced off his face and body, and though it was pouring so violently, it felt like nothing more than a tender touch.

Lavender eyes trailed round, eventually spotting a white-haired teen sprinting through the stormy road to his home. The Egyptian shut the door of his own home before setting off after Ryou.

* * *

Ryou sprinted as fast as he could through the screaming whether, utterly ignoring his fear with lightning as it sounded with a loud crack. Not even taking it to heart, the hikari turned the corner to his street, seeing his home at the other end he kept his eyes locked ahead as the wind blew the rain through his hair.

He couldn't explain it, he didn't know why and he didn't care but he _had _to get there quickly. Like a force pulling him, the light ran as fast as he could as if he knew Bakura needed him, though he couldn't explain the yearning feeling to be by Bakura's side.

* * *

Darkness slowly began to take Bakura as he slipped in and out of consciousness; he felt his body falling more and more limp as his will to keep going got smaller.

Chocolate depths began to get heavier by the second as the warm liquid seeped out from his body. And soon, within minutes of feeling so weak, his orbs shut, finally locking him in the shadows, the paper in his grip falling from his hold and lying in the puddle of red.

* * *

The sound of the front door suddenly echoed, the sound of the wood slamming against the wall.

"Kura?!" Ryou screamed out instantly, for some reason he was crying his eyes out once again, his heart feeling weaker, "Bakura?!" he yelled out again, eyes darting around the living room as he peeked round.

Panic began to engulf the teen as he searched the whole of the lower level of the house, constantly calling out his Yami's name.

"Bakura... Yami please! Where are you?!" Ryou shouted as he ran upstairs, seeing the bathroom door shut.

"Kura..." the light muttered as he turned the handle, only to find it locked, "Kura... Bakura open up," the hikari demanded.

No answer.

"BAKURA!" Ryou cried, hitting his fists on the door, he knew his other half was in there and he knew something was wrong.

"Ryou... What's going on?" a voice suddenly asked, caused the distressed teen to spin round in shock.

"Malik..." Ryou said, sighing in relief, "I duno... Bakura's in there, I know he is... But he won't even talk. Something's wrong, I know it is..."

Malik stared at the light for a moment, and he could tell instantly by the look in his eyes that he was right and how worried he was. Nodding straight away in response Malik went up to the door. "Ryou... Keep the hand twisted ok," he said.

Ryou nodded, gripping the knob and twisting it to the side as the blonde stepped back.

With a quick step forward, Malik raised his foot and kicked the bathroom door, very, very hard. Instantly it flung open, smashing back on its hinges before Ryou hurried in, his eyes widening in pure horror as he let out a scream of shock.

"KURA?!"

* * *

**Um... Another cliffy... Sorry about that, couldn't resist. But, hoped you happy-chans liked it, and I promise the next one will be longer and be very... Well... I won't spoil it ::wink::**

**R&R!**

**S4K**


	12. Open

**Heya happy-chans, I got this chapter up as fast as I could. And it would've been up sooner if it wasn't for my cruddy English teacher...**

**Anyway, enjoy!**

* * *

**twelve: Open**

His heart stopped instantly, a million tons of emotions tumbling down on him with an unbelievable force as reality hit him, head on.

"K... Ku... Bakura! NO!" Ryou screamed out running over to his other half who was motionless on the floor, his wrist limp at his side as the warm liquid slowly spilled out.

"Bakura... Please... Wake- open you're eyes... Please!" the hikari begged, hugging the lifeless Yami tight in his arms. "Please! Malik! Make him wake up! I can't feel him... He isn't thinking!" he cried, tears once again pouring from his chocolate eyes, staining his cheeks with the up most sorrow he had ever felt.

Malik stood frozen, still in the doorway as he stared at the two on the floor, his legs going weak, forcing him to put one hand on the wall.

"Malik! PLEASE! Make him wake up for God's sake!" Ryou screamed out again, holding Bakura tighter, refusing to let go.

"Ryou..." Malik whispered, his lower lip quivering as tears started to slowly roll down his tanned cheeks, "...I, can't... He's go-"

"NO! No... No he isn't! He wouldn't do this he's too strong! He wouldn't leave me like this! I know he wouldn't!" the light cried out, his eyes slamming shut as he held his other half closer, simply not believing his Yami could be gone, and in such a way.

"R-Ryou..." the Egyptian muttered, his lip still trembling as tears rolled faster down his cheeks, his eyes refusing to look away from the lifeless Bakura no matter how much it hurt him to stare down at the inert Albino, "He's... He's... Gone..." he finally managed to say.

"HE ISN'T!" Ryou screamed back, his whole body shaking violently, eyes finally opening and he glanced at the paper on the floor, lying in a crimson river. "M... Malik... What's that?" he asked, barely nodding towards the stained sheet.

Looking down, the blonde knelt by Ryou and the empty Bakura, opening the folded paper, his eyes going from left to right as he read. It was obvious when he finished as he burst into more tears, his barriers braking instantly with a violent crash as he held the note so Ryou could read it.

_This pain is too much for me, I tired to keep going, I tried to cope and hold on... For your sake..._

_Don't forget me Ryou... My love._

_I'm sorry._

Ryou's eyes instantly widened before he clamped them back shut, burying his face in the crook of Bakura's cold neck, wailing in pure misery and heartbreak as he clung to the Yami.

"Bakura..." Malik whispered silently, reaching his hand over and placing it over the Yami's slit wrist as if trying to stop the blood, even if he thought it was too late. The Egyptian felt the warmth soak his fingers and seep through the tiny gaps, spilling out and adding to the already stained floor.

Lavender depths trailed down to the spirit's face, simply staring at Bakura's closed eyes. He swallowed painfully hard as he clutched his wrist tighter, _Bakura... Why did you have to leave... _Malik thought silently to himself, blinking ever so slowly as tears spilled from his eyes.

Ryou began to rock back and forth, cradling the spirit protectively in his arms. _I'm sorry Bakura... I'm so sorry I treated you the way I did... I assumed all of those... Things about you and I made it worse... This is all my fault... You're gone because of me... _the hikari thought silently to himself as he continued to rock back and forth in a constant pattern, lightly running his hand up and down Bakura's back in a ghost like touch.

The excruciating heartbreak began to ache more as Ryou thought about it. But what hurt him the most, what dug so deep, was the fact that the last words he had said to Bakura were said in hate towards the Yami. The light had said all of those things, not even a good bye or an apology, just bitterness and odium was the last thing the spirit had heard from his other half. And thinking about this caused the light to sob louder in the up most misery as he clutched the spirit in his arms.

"He isn't gone... I know he isn't..." Ryou whispered to himself.

Malik looked up at Ryou after hearing him. He had still been staring at Bakura occasionally glancing at the note, stained with blood and Bakura's hand writing perfect, as if he had actually thought about what he was writing. _How could you leave like this Kura? How? Your final words on a... A... A shitty piece of paper! I never thought I'd have to see the day you... D... Die._

"I know he's alive Malik... Bakura's strong; he wouldn't let this take him so easily. He's a fighter! A thief for crying out loud! I know he's alive!" the light cried out, his eyes pleading for the Yami to move, speak, usher the slightest sound just to prove he was indeed still alive.

"He's gone Ryou..." Malik stated bluntly, his eyes red and puffy from the amount of tears that he was crying.

"He isn't! Malik! I kno-"

The cotton teen was cut off from two arms engulfing him and pulling him into a strong, loving embrace and he accepted it straight away.

Burying himself in the warmth and protection of Malik, Ryou wept harder and louder, clutching to the blonde for his sanity. Why hadn't he seen this coming? Why hadn't he noticed Bakura's moods? The Yami felt so terrible, suicidal. Yet, the light continued his dangerous dance with destiny, instead of seeing everything he was being told, shown. Now he's gone.

"He... Is..." Malik started, his eyes slowly shutting.

Malik felt the hikari in his arms tremble as if in fear, though he knew it was in pure shock and heartbreak. _How could you do this to him? _The blonde thought, and he felt anger rising inside of him. _How... How could you... You... You, thief! I thought you loved him Bakura. I thought you'd do anything for him, I know you probably meant this for the best. Thinking everyone would be better of without you... But... No we're alone... He's alone._

Ryou sobbed into the Egyptian's shirt, feeling his chest fall and rise very slowly until he suddenly felt the blonde freeze, and the light looked up at Malik.

"Hm?" Ryou looked at the blonde, seeing his shocked, almost amazed expression the light instantly span round in his arms and stared at Bakura.

The Yami was lying still, not moving or making a sound, apart from his eyelids that were flickering, ever so slightly.

"He's... Kura!" Ryou cried out as he saw the very tips of a single finger twitch, "Wake up! Kura please I know you're alive!"

Once again, the tips of Bakura's finger twitched as his body suddenly jerked ever so slightly.

"Ryou... It's just his nervous system... He isn't alive..." 

"HE IS!" Ryou's eyes shot round and stared at Malik the tears worsening, and the immense pain the light was feeling was glaringly clear. "You don't know him like I do Malik! I know he's strong, I know he's alive and I most certainly know he wouldn't let this beat him without even putting up a fight! I know he can do this! HE WOULDN'T LEAVE ME!" the hikari screamed out.

"RYOU! He's killed himself! He doesn't want to fight it!" Malik suddenly shouted, quickly regretting what he said when he saw the light break down into even more sorrow and grief.

"Ryou... I..." Malik ushered, putting a hand on Ryou's shoulder, but it was instantly and harshly shrugged off.

"Don't touch me! You can accept that Bakura's gone but I won't!" Ryou screamed at the blonde, his eyes burning with a violent storm of emotion. 

It was then that an almost silent groan was heard, only just picked up by the two in the split second of silence that they were staring at one another.

The hikari span back round without hesitation, chocolate depths widening when he saw Bakura's expression cringe ever so slightly.

"KURA!"

Malik instantaneously took hold of Bakura's wrist, wrapping both his hands around the slash to stop as much blood as he could, even though the flow was already very slow as if coming to a stop.

"Kura... Please, I'm begging you to fight this. I know you can hear me... Please!" Ryou pleaded, his hands clasped together as he stared at said other, "And I need you with me..." he added with a whisper.

A minute hiss escaped Bakura as his whole body tensed, using the very last ounce of strength he had to fight off the inevitable plea of death that was screaming in his head.

_R... Ry..._

Bakura's weak, helpless voice whispered in Ryou's mind through their mind link.

"HE'S ALIVE!" Ryou screamed out, his lower lip trembling as he watched Bakura, Malik, holding tighter on the fiend's wrist.

_Come on Kura... Open your eyes... _the blonde silently pleaded, _open them... Please..._

"Open your eyes!" Malik randomly cried out, his own lilac orbs streaming with tears of so many emotions mixed together in a toxic concoction.

Bakura suddenly gagged, taking in a desperate breath though his eyes remained closed.

"Kura please, I know you can fight this... Please, come on..." Ryou whispered, taking the Albino's other hand in his, kissing it over and over again until he felt the cold grip of the spirit softly tighten.

Feeling this Ryou leaned down; resting on the fiend's chest, his head in the crook of his neck and gripping his stained shirt, "Please... Bakura I need you..." he whispered silently, still clinging to said others hand.

Malik stared on with wide eyes, never once blinking as he watched the face of Bakura. His hands still clasped round the sliced wrist as his lip still trembled in the horrific suspense.

"Bakura..." the light mused silently yet again freezing when he felt a short breath burn through him like hot ice. Biting his lip, wanting, needing to feel his other half take in a breath again crushed the light's heart, "Fight it..."

Another breath was taken, his chest rising further as the air soaked into him and took the fiend one step closer to life.

_You can do this Bakura... Don't put Ryou through any more pain... _Malik thought to himself as he swallowed hard.

Ryou slowly lifted his head when he felt a slight pattern of constant breaths, his eyes rose until finally settling on Bakura's, both he and Malik skipping a breath when dark chocolate orbs flickered open.

* * *

**Heheh, I promise this will be the last cliffy for a while. I seriously need to stop doing this to you guys...**

**Sorry it wasn't as long as all the other chapters but I couldn't think of what else to write without leading into the next chapter too much.**

**R&R happy-chans!  
****  
::hugs::  
S4K**


	13. Angel

**Heya happy-chans... Like usual, I apologise for lateness of updating... I really should stop doing that... :sigh:  
  
Anyway... Here's chapter 13! Enjoy!  
**

* * *

**thirteen: Angel**

He coughed out mouthfuls of bottled up air as his chest lifted and fell in irregular patterns.

"Bakura!" Ryou chirped out throwing his arms round the Yami's neck, so thankful his other half was breathing.

The spirit cringed slightly, breathing in deeply, his head spinning rapidly and he could barely make sense of anything that was going on around him.

"I thought I was going to lose you..." Ryou whispered, biting back more tears as he buried himself in the crook of Bakura's neck.

Chocolate depths flickered slightly, rolling back as he struggled to keep them open and his hand twitching at his side.

"Ryou..." Malik muttered, his eyes locked on Bakura's face, and he knew he was only just clinging to the last ounce of life he had, "Ryou get off him now. Phone an ambulance!" he suddenly blurted out, pulling the hikari off of the white-haired Yami.

"But... But he..." 

"Ryou! He's barely alive do it, now!" the blonde ordered, eyes glaring at the angel.

The light nodded and dragged himself to his feet, running off down the stairs to the telephone.

Malik shuffled closer to Bakura, pressing his hand firmly over his sliced wrist as he reached up onto the sink and took a face cloth, thankful it was already wet before he gently placed it on the Yami's forehead. "Hold on Kura..." he whispered to himself, cringing slightly when the only reply he got was the Yami struggling to take in a breath.

A few minutes later, footsteps where heard running back up the stairs and soon Ryou was coming into the bathroom, "They're on their way..." he said softly, eyes instantly saddening as he looked at Bakura.

He knew it was sad a sad thought, but Ryou suddenly wished Bakura's suffering would end. He preferred it when he thought the Yami was dead, not moving, not struggling for life. It was utterly obvious the spirit was in agonising pain, he could see it in his eyes, the desperate plea to let it all go, yet the lustful burn to survive battling against the beg for death.

The light stayed in the bathroom doorway, he couldn't take it anymore, it felt as if reality had just slapped him hard across the face. He never thought about what would happen if Bakura did wake up, why hadn't he called for help sooner? He was too hung up in wanting him back to be with him that the thought of saving him never once crossed his mind.

"I can't take this..." Ryou muttered and turned on his heels to leave.

"Ryou where are you going?" Malik asked, looking up at the light.

"I'll be downstairs... Waiting for the ambulance..." he replied in a soft tone, and left the room, obvious he was once again letting tears fall.

Malik sighed softly, biting his lip as he looked back down at Bakura to see his chocolate depths staring at the doorway, watching his other half leave him when he needed him the most. And it hurt. To see someone you cared so deeply for watching the one person they loved with every ounce of feeling they had simply walk away.

The blonde used his other hand to hold onto Bakura's, lightly squeezing it in a comforting way.

* * *

Tears fell from his eyes as he stared out of the window, his temple resting against the freezing glass and his knees tucked up close to his chest. The light began wondering, thinking, though it felt more like panic. What if Bakura didn't make it? He didn't want to think about it, but he couldn't stop himself. If his Yami didn't survive, he'd be left alone to fight for himself. And he knew it would hurt like nothing before. The hikari had felt it briefly before. When Bakura got sent to the Shadow Realm back when Battle City was taking place, he'd felt it then. It was only a few seconds but he could remember it like it had just happened. He could remember the pain that shot through his whole body, paralysing him with loneliness and fear as his other half was ripped from him; swallowed by the darkest darkness. But what scared Ryou the most was being alone. Sure, he was used to it by now. It hurt him so much to know he was never truly accepted in the group, to know he was just the outcast in their strong bond of friendship and care, and that he'd never experience the blissful feeling of love. To his so called 'friends' Ryou was just the shadow, the lost, cold shadow constantly following at their heals and constantly wishing to be one of them. And the light knew why he was never accepted. It was because of him. So tainted and corrupt, he's simply broken beyond repair, yet a passion still burns in those dark eyes. They all fear him, they don't know Bakura like Ryou does, only Malik had actually given him a chance to prove that he wasn't all evil. And he isn't. Malik knows it, Ryou knows it, but that's it. So if the fiend didn't make it, he would be even more alone. 

Ryou was snapped from his thoughts at the sound of sirens howling from the end of the street. He instantly got to his feet, jumping down from the windowsill and running out the front door into the pouring rain and to the end of the driveway. His eyes shot round looking left, then right to see an ambulance speeding down the street, the light let out a soft sigh of relief as he watched the flashing van draw closer.

The rain beat against the light, utterly soaking him as the ambulance pulled up outside his house. Two paramedics climbed out, one going to the back of the van and taking out a red, long bag and the other went up to Ryou straight away.

"Where is he?" the paramedic asked.

"This way," Ryou said without hesitation, leading the two inside and upstairs to the bathroom.

"In here," the light said once they were outside the bathroom door.

The two nodded in thanks and went inside, kneeling down on either side of the Albino. The female paramedic zipped open the bag and started taking out all sorts of medical equipment, one of which was an oxygen mask that was instantly placed on Bakura's mouth, and it was obvious the Yami was grateful.

* * *

An hour had passed and the paramedics where sure that Bakura was now in a stable condition. The dark was on a small dose of morpheme so was utterly out cold for at least half an hour longer, the mask was still at his mouth, letting him breathe normally for the first time in a while and he was know lying in his bed, eyes lightly closed in a peaceful slumber. 

"Are you sure you don't want the number for some counselling?" the paramedic they had learnt to be Kaoru said.

"No... We'll be fine thanks, I think everything's sorted," Ryou said with a soft smile.

"You sure Ryou? I mean, if he tried that, it doesn't look to me everything's all right," Kaoru said as he washed his hands in the sink, "The counselling is great you know. They sort out things like this all the time, I really think you both should go." 

"We're fine, I promise," Ryou insisted.

"If anything happens I'll make sure they go," Malik said, trying to move the subject of conversation onto something else.

Kaoru sighed, "All right then..." he said as he dried his hands and picked up the bag once the other paramedic had packed everything away.

"You should get some rest sweetie," the female paramedic said as she walked past Ryou, lightly brushing a stray bang from the lights eyes, "You've been through a lot."

Ryou nodded, "I will, and... Thank you, so much," he said with a small half smile.

"You're more than welcome," Kaoru said, "And I hope everything goes all right from now on," he added as he and the other left the house. "Ryou..." Malik whispered as he stepped into the living room, seeing said light leaning against the wall, "You ok?" he asked walking over to him. 

Ryou looked at the blonde, a small, tearing smile across his expression as he stepped into Malik's open arms.

"Everything's fine now," the Egyptian whispered, feeling Ryou's hands cling to his shirt, "He's fine now..." he added.

The hikari nodded slightly and stepped back, rubbing his eyes, "I think I'll get some sleep..." he said with a heavy sigh.

"Come on then," Malik said, taking Ryou's hand and leading him upstairs to the spare bedroom as Bakura was in the main room.

Once inside Ryou sat down on the end of the bed and Malik span a chair round, sitting on it with his legs around the back of it.

"Malik..." Ryou said softly, looking at the ground. "Yeah?" the blonde replied. "You ever been in love?" the light asked bluntly, as he looked up at the Egyptian. Malik smiled at the thought, "Yeah, I have." "Is it meant to be this hectic?" "Well, that depends on what you make it like now doesn't it?" Malik said with a smile. Ryou returned the smile slightly, "Yeah, I suppose so... But... Who'd you love?" 

Malik grinned slightly, "Heh, he's too much for me. I don't think I'd be able to cope with his antics, he's too dark for me... he's more like... I duno, an angel to me, but... More of a dark angel, if you get me..."

The light smiled, "Yeah, I understand."

"Besides, he's got someone who'd give him everything, they're just meant for one another, so I'm happy he's happy," the Egyptian said, his smile slightly fading.

"I'm glad you think like that..."

"Same here... Anyway Ry, I'm going to have to be off, Isis will be having a fit wondering where I am. So I'll check on Kura then go all right?" Malik asked getting up.

"Yeah all right," Ryou said nodding.

"See you later yeah," Malik said with a small grin.

"Yeah, bye, and... Thanks Malik," Ryou said, his smile as real as it used to be.

Malik nodded, and with a quick embrace, the blonde left the room just as the light lay down in a deep slumber.

* * *

Malik walked down the landing with his hands in his pockets, eyes locked onto the floor as he came to Bakura's door. He sighed before twisting the handle and stepping inside. 

Lavender eyes trailed over to the sleeping fiend on the bed in the middle of the room, settling on his sleeping form.

Taking in a short breath, Malik walked over to Bakura's bed and sat down at his side, staring down at him.

"I'm glad you're ok now Bakura..." he whispered silently, moving stray bangs from his eyes, "... My angel."

The blonde bit his lip slightly as tears started to form in his eyes, "Don't ever do that again you hear me... I won't be able to take it...But... Really, I should be thanking you. With all this going on, I had to hide it even more..."

His tanned fingers gently stroked down Bakura's cheek before standing up and walking over to the door, "It just hurts to know, you'll never realise that..." he stopped in the doorway and glanced over his shoulder, "... Koishete'ru..."

* * *

**So you know... If you don't what Malik just said was :  
  
**"It just hurts to know, you'll never realise that... I'm in love with you..." 

**Anyway, hoped you all liked that chapter, the next one will most likely be the last, unless I decide to go with an idea I've just come up with... But, it'll most likely be the next chapter will be very, very long. **

**R&R!  
  
S4K**


	14. Stranger Than Your Sympathy

**It's here....  
The final chapter of We're Still Standing.  
  
Thank you to everyone who reviewed, read and just looked at this fic. You've made writing it all worth while, and from you're positive comments, I think I'll try this style of writing again.  
  
You're all wonderful and you guys mean the world to me.  
  
I just hope this final chapter finishes the fic with a bang, love you all, and see you soon yeh? **

**::waves::  
  
(And on a little note, near the end, there are lyrics, when you read them, think of things from Bakura's point of view, you'll see why I chose that song. And I don't own the Goo Goo Dolls ::rolls eyes::... Though I wouldn't mind owning them...)**

* * *

**Fourteen: Stranger Than Your Sympathy**

His eyes hadn't moved for the past twenty minutes he'd been awake. The first thing on his mind when his orbs opened was the thought of his other half, wondering, hoping he was all right, and to his relief, the sleeping teen was perfectly fine.

A slight pain was still in his wrist, he couldn't move it that well from the tight bandages that were firmly wrapped round, though he was still very thankful to be alive, with his thoughts, his friends... His Ryou.

He'd been so stupid, and he wasn't too proud to admit it either as it was painfully obvious even to him. The spirit still couldn't get over the fact he'd turned to suicide to get away from all the things that had been going on, thinking everyone would be better off without him, but not once realising he'd make it much worse if his 'plan' did work. It still hurt him even after all of it, the thought of leaving Ryou alone in the world haunted the Yami whenever his thoughts wandered, though, he passed it off as the price he must pay for trying such a thing as taking his own life, and putting others through nothing but suffer and misery.

How could he have been such a fool? Such a selfish person, and so blind? Blind to the obvious compassion that was being thrown at him all along, but he remained oblivious to all of it.

Yet, there was one thing he was still dreading, a constant nag that, without fail, shot a thrill of fear through Bakura. What will happen when the hikari wakes up? Of course, he'd be utterly joyous when the teen finally does wake up, but what will he say? Will he be happy to see the Yami, welcome him to open arms, or shove him back into the darkness from which he came? Though, when the Yami thought about it, he'd understand if Ryou never even wanted to look at him again. He'd dragged the hikari through hell and back, yet not once did his lighter half refuse or complain, even yet, he never once had to ask twice. But would he be able to take this? Even after adding the others together, what had happened over the past, say, week or so, was nothing and merely practice compared to the torrent of events that had gone on.

Sighing softly to himself, Bakura ran his hands back through his hair, coming to the conclusion he'd simply just have to wait and see.

* * *

Back home, the blonde silently slipped into his house, hoping with all his heart that Isis was still asleep. 

Slipping off his shoes, Malik turned round.

"And where have you been?!" 

"WHA!" Malik jumped back, hand on his chest from the sudden shock, "Isis! Damn it..." he panted, glaring at his sister.

"Don't Isis me young man! Where do you think you've been all night? If you've been out with that Yami Bakura, I swear-"

"No I haven't. I've been out on a trip to hell as _that Yami Bakura _tried to kill himself," Malik interrupted in an annoyed tone, not at all in the mood to talk to his sister right now.

"What? Kill himself? That evil no-gooder?" Isis questioned.

"Yes sister. That evil no-gooder," the Egyptian mocked as he brushed passed his sibling and walked lazily upstairs to his room, where he locked the door without hesitation. 

Sighing heavily the teen walked over to his bed and sat down on it, leaning back against the headboard with saddened eyes.

It hurt the blonde so much to keep all his emotions locked away, every hour of every day. Having to hide them, and be strong for everyone else because they all thought he was nothing more than the 'listener'. But no one knew. No one knew the real Malik, the vulnerable, insecure Egyptian that permanently longed for comfort and love. But not just any, he wanted it from _him_.

For so long he'd wanted to feel the Albion skin against his own, taste his lips in heated passion, but he knew, more and more each day, it would never happen.

"He's happy..." Malik whispered to himself, bringing up his knees to his chest as tears began to slowly fall from his eyes, "...That's all that matters..."

Images kept repeating in his mind of when he stepped foot in the bloodstained bathroom, and laid his eyes upon his dying love. He could have screamed there and then, but like always he held it back, like always he had to be strong for someone else, and like always he put himself through torture for someone else. And it hurt more and more each time.

"You're lucky Ryou..." Malik whispered silently to himself, "...Hope you know that..."

* * *

The light still slept peacefully for another half an hour and Bakura never once left his side, and was now gently holding the youths had in his own. 

His gaze trailed up to the light's face, and a small smile came over the Albino. _He's so beautiful... _the dark thought silently as he used his other hand to lightly stroke a finger down Ryou's cheek, making sure not to stir him in his sleep.

After a few moments, a small moan was heard coming from the sleeping light, which caused Bakura to tense slightly when he saw gorgeous brown eyes flutter open.

"Ryou..." Bakura whispered softly, removing his hand from the teens.

Another moan escaped the light as he sat up rubbing his eyes before looking up at his other half.

"B... Bakura?" Ryou asked in utter disbelief said other was sitting before him, "Oh my god!" he suddenly chirped out, throwing his arms round the Yami's neck and hugging him so tight he caused them both to fall back on the bed.

Ryou almost instantly collapsed into tears from the emotions racing through him as he nuzzled into the Yami's neck, clinging to him like a lost child.

After a minute or two of silence Ryou climbed off of Bakura and the two sat up, the Yami only to receive a slap round the back of his head.

"Ry!" Bakura whined. 

"Don't ever do that to me again you hear?!" Ryou stated sternly, eyes glaring at his darker half.

Bakura simply smiled and nodded, "I won't... Promise."

Ryou returned the smile before rubbing his eyes but no matter how much he tried, he couldn't stop crying.

"You've done a lot of crying this past week haven't you?" Bakura said, brushing away tears from the lights cheek. 

Ryou looked at Bakura, his lower lip trembling slightly, a storm of more emotions rampaging over him, "I thought I'd lost you..." he whispered, tears filling his eyes as he stared at the dark.

Bakura bit his lip slightly as he looked at Ryou, the obvious sorrow that consumed the teen hurt the Yami deeply, and it only made it worse to know it was his entire fault. "Ry..." he whispered, pulling the teen into his arms and holding him close as he felt the light cry against his chest, holding fistfuls of his shirt.

"Don't... Please don't leave me..." Ryou sobbed, burying his head in the crook of Bakura's neck.

"Ryou, hikari, I'm not going anywhere," Bakura whispered, kissing the top of his lights head as he held him close.

The two sat in silence, the Yami rocking gently back and forth as the light cried in his arms. The silence remained, that was until a sudden voice spoke up from the radio in the room.

Ryou jumped slightly, panicked until he realised it was just his radio alarm going off and he went back to nuzzling into Bakura, refusing to let go.

Silence once again engulfed the two, apart from the sound of a song playing in the background.

_"Stranger than your sympathy__  
__And this is my apology__  
__I killed myself from the inside out__  
__And all my fears have pushed you out"_

"Bakura..." Ryou asked in a whisper.

"Yeah?"

"On that... Note, in your hand when... Well... You called me your love on it..." the light explained.

"Yeah..." Bakura said, not really sure what his lighter half was getting at.

"Did you mean it?"

"Of course I did. You really think I'd lie to you at a... Time like that?" _"And I wished for things that I don't need__  
__(All I wanted)__  
__And what I chased won't set me free__  
__(All I wanted)__  
__And I get scared but I'm not crawlin' on my knees"_ Ryou lifted his head from Bakura's chest and looked up at his face, a small smile across his lips. 

Bakura returned the smile, using his thumb to brush away the tears on his light's cheek.

_"Oh, yeah__  
__Everything's all wrong, yeah__  
__Everything's all wrong, yeah__  
__Where the hell did I think I was?"_

"Ryou..." Bakura said after a few moments of silence, and said other was cradled in his arms.

"Hm?" the light replied.

"I'm sorry... I sh-"

"You don't have to be sorry Kura," Ryou interrupted.

"No... Let me say this... Please," Bakura said, feeling Ryou nod against his chest before getting up and sitting along side his Yami.

_"And stranger than your sympathy__  
__Take these things, so I don't feel__  
__I'm killing myself from the inside out__  
__And now my head's been filled with doubt"_

The fiend took in a deep breath before speaking, "I'm sorry... That's all I can say really after all the shit I've put you through. I mean... You've put up with me after all these years, after I've done so much to you and I never once apologised or tried to make it up to you. I don't know how you can take it... 

_"We're taught to lead the life you choose__  
__(All I wanted)__  
__You know your love's run out on you__  
__(All I wanted)__  
__And you can't see when all your dreams aren't coming true"_

...Even when I hurt you, you still didn't push me back, you kept trying to open up to me, but I just pushed you away. I was just being the biggest prick ever, and it was like you didn't care...

_"Oh, yeah__  
__It's easy to forget, yeah__  
__When you choke on the regrets, yeah__  
__Who the hell did I think I was?"_

...I never once made it up to you, if anything I only made it worse. Then I went and did all this. I said so much shit, I didn't mean half of it. I never do. But... I've never felt like this before... I've never had anyone feel like you do for me... I've only ever had hate, so all I did was give it back...

_"And stranger than your sympathy__  
__And all these thoughts you stole from me__  
__And I'm not sure where I belong__  
__And no where's home and no more wrong_"

...All I did was constantly lie to you, telling you I hated you and all that, putting you through hell. I thought I was making it easier for you and for me. I didn't want to risk getting hurt again. But I only made it worse because it was hurting me more to see you suffering. Even when I knew how you felt, I still rejected you...

_"And I was in love with things I tried to make you believe I was__  
__And I wouldn't be the one to kneel before the dreams I wanted__  
__And all the dark and all the lies were all the empty things disguised as me"_

...I tried to make you hate me Ryou... And when killing myself came to mind, I just couldn't get it out. I thought it would make everything better. You'd have someone who deserves someone like you Ry. Someone who'll treat you right and not put you through the things I have. You wouldn't have to take anymore... You'd be better off without me..."

Bakura trailed off, his eyes averting to the floor as he took in a deep breath.

"Kura..." Ryou said softly.

"I wouldn't be better off without you. I put up with all your little antics because of one simple fact."

"What?" Bakura asked.

Ryou smiled softly, "I love you," he said, leaning his head on the dark's shoulder.

A single tear rolled down Bakura's cheek as he gazed out the window before them, "I love you too," he replied as he wrapped an arm around his hikari, his light, his Ryou...

His love.

_"Mmm, yeah__  
__Stranger than your sympathy__  
__Stranger than your sympathy__  
__Mmm hmmm mmm"  
  
_....The End....  
  
_

* * *

_

**Finished... Hm... I love that song.... **

**....I want to carry on writing this... Hm, maybe a surprise chapter will pop up after a while no? Just a happy little fluff chapter... Maybe, I'll have to see.  
  
Thank you once again to everyone who's been here since the begining, I love you all and you make writing all worth while. ::hugs everyone::**

**Thanks, and, a new fic should be starting soon(ish) hope to see you there... My happy-chans!! ::smiles::**

**R&R!  
  
S4K**

**Until next time! ::wink::**


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